"sleeping"
18, Pittsburgh
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— 2 Kudos
Category: Life
This will be my last post on this blog, as yesterday was my 18th birthday and I want this to be a capsule of the times before. However, the topic I want to talk about today is the retention of the self and if it is indeed possible to live based on principle and according to one goal without experiencing evolutionary stagnation. Or contrarily, if it is necessary to bend those dearly held principles... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
H, I hope you can pardon the suddenness with which this letter was delivered, but the lack of time we have before our inevitable separation necessitated such a cruelty. For at least a half year I have been plagued with a dependency on your favour, the origins of which are still unclear to me. My every waking moment is spent in anticipation of the night, where we are sure to be together in what i d... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I just finished the bulk portion of my first usable beat in months. The only thing i have left to do is arrange it and figure out which vocal sample i want to include at the beginning. During my search i realized this last part was so difficult because i had no idea what i wanted it to be. This went for both the sample and the beat itself. It then dawned on me that i was finding it so difficult to... » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Life
Over the last few weeks ive rested on my laurels in a way after the release and positive reception of my first album. This wasn’t done in a traditional way though, as instead of enjoying the things i love without the stress of recording and writing and mixing, ive just been doing a ridiculous amount of schoolwork with nothing to distract me from graduation in a few short months. My abstinence from... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
It’s raining outside. Thats serene. A beautiful word. I like words because they combine us. But i dont like to speak them meaningfully. I hate the concept of another half. I like the idea of another world. I rely on this other world to survive as me. I store my self-concept here. But it cannot exist unattended, for what thrives without a master? Who do i invite to join me? And who will understand ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I dont feel like myself. I was working on storyboarding this next video and i felt as though this would be the final dance in terms of music. After looking through my notes at old stuff i wrote i got the feeling that im never going to be able to be that creative again. This is obviously false because i felt that way in early 2021 and proceeded to create what i fear ive lost, but i dont know why i ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I went back to the creek last week fa the first time in two years. It was a surreal experience cuz i still attribute that to being the birth of 119 and going back in a different section reminded me of why that was the case. Its like it was specifically made for me. Like my own city trapped in time and equipped with all i need to reflect and advance. But i suppose those two intersect more than i kn... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Ive felt a certain type of way about this for a while but I was reminded of it today and i have the time to complain so here we are. Im sick of these white boys with mental issues copping black artist pfps and adopting slang that i know they dont use at home to attack black art. I go through “hip-hop twitter” day after day and all i see are these people making the most ludicrous reactionary statem... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Fatherhood. This is a concept that has always been dismissible to me in that i never wanted to have kids out of fear of wasting 18 years of my already short life. However as i think about it more i realize that its out of fear of my own inadequacy. Relationships. Both romantic and platonic. I have always yearned for the true and undivided love of another, but my own inadequacy has robbed me of thi... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
We spend our entire lives trying to postpone the inevitable. Death. Thanatos with his black foreboding wingspan. This is known. But what of the little deaths? When your balance starts to go, or your back begins to give little by little? The loss of a once cherished connection. Or perhaps the scariest of them all: the loss of memory. Comfort is the most sought after sensation in this race against t... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Well for the first day of my graduation year i really bossed up. I made the announcement trailer for the album and recorded and mixed another song. Its only four more songs left to record which is insane, and i have a feature to buy. Its between three people and three songs but i think i have it narrowed down. All thats left after that is to record the last music video, and then three little tease... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Today is the last day of 2022. Its also the last day before i enter my graduation year. I dont believe in the whole new year new me shit cuz its impossible to change completely on a whim. However it is both possible and important to begin changing in smaller ways. For me thats going to have to be in changing my mindset. Ive already been accepted to college so i dont have to worry about that, but i... » Continue Reading
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