Nox

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"On a hunt for yellow eyes"

19 and I am but a fabulous God

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Nox's Blog Entries

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Alot

Category: Blogging

So quite a bit happened since I last posted and someone commented and gave me very words to my feelings thank you.  But I think my self help work is fading and sister is makeing it worse without her knowing. One night My 2 sisters, ones boyfriend, and me were drinking and it was nice but my younger sister always has to start asking questions and it got kinda deep and I just kept drinking and I con... » Continue Reading

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Bodyless

Category: Blogging

The person I thought I was going to vent to I have basically ghosted them. When met we hit it off really really quickly and he was really sweet and good top me we have talked to each other for 2 weeks for the 1st few days I felt calm with him them I normally would with any other person even family. Then I just felt nothing when we would talk I was trying to pay attention to him but I couldn't I co... » Continue Reading

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I was fine

Category: Blogging

Jees I thought we were passed this I thought I could forget how they were that if I pretend it never happened or it was never said I never heard it. I was doing better and then my sisters problems got worse for her she frustrates me yes but I still listen to her I try to be there even when she pisses me off. She told our other sister and you know what she fucking does tells her shit "oh now it's t... » Continue Reading

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— 2 Kudos

Feelings

Category: Blogging

Today I went out to a family friend to take her daughter trick or treating it was us together a d I felt I would say happy but I felt free like emotionally I had done my make up like the joker but my style and I felt free like I had no thoughts we left around 8 or 9 and went to the store I wear my mask all the time but I didn't have like any so not wanting to say anything I went in with out one bu... » Continue Reading

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Another fucking rant

Category: Blogging

Working on my own mental health is quite a journey I am better then I was befor I think if i didn't start trying I would have gotten worse. But I still don't feel like I can talk to someone one that i love with for support and I don't really have friends the ones I have live across the world and I don't want them to know for some reason idk. ⚠️⛔([Warning:Metion of eating and weight maybe self harm... » Continue Reading

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Realized

Category: Life

Haha 😄  you know what I realized today like right this moment. I know now why I hardly remember my childhood it was because the way mother raised me was good ya. But the way she did it was theating me. Ya 😅😅 me my sister and my mom were having a conversation right know about my sleeping problems and brought up how I used to stay up as a kid. She said "when she would stay up I would tell her you be... » Continue Reading

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New face

Category: Blogging

So when ever I'm out or if I haven't looked at myself like in reflections or on camera I forget what I look like. When I finally see my self for the first time I think that doesn't look like me or I think for a second it's a different person. When that happens i start questioning things like do people see me how I Think I Look or how I See My Self then I start getting all self consens.  These thin... » Continue Reading

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Ok first vent online Mother and Issues

Category: Blogging

 So lately or for a while now I've been wanting and trying to talk about stuff to my mom or kinda of anyone right know but I can't. When Ever a subject comes up and i think I can bring it up slowly they kind if backhand it. Like I love my mom I do but when I hypothetically bring something up or say something slightly like my problem she says something insulting about it like if to say " that's not... » Continue Reading

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