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The person I thought I was going to vent to I have basically ghosted them. When met we hit it off really really quickly and he was really sweet and good top me we have talked to each other for 2 weeks for the 1st few days I felt calm with him them I normally would with any other person even family. Then I just felt nothing when we would talk I was trying to pay attention to him but I couldn't I couldn't try to be interested. I didn't tell him anything just kinda avoided him and he hasn't tried talking to me lately but He told me things that seemed kinda meaningful to him and I feel as if I should talk to him and tell him I don't feel for him anymore but I don't want him to take it the wrong way. But then I could careless for his feelings and I know that sounds really shitty but it's true.  I honestly don't feel anything for anyone right know including myself I don't think that's a good thing. 😕 I've noticed i only feel "unburdened" was when I got out of a long shower after if I watch a funny video I genuinely laugh bit with out it I just snicker. The things I used to do to make me happy or feel any sort of joy they don't anymore I still try to do them but they bearly give me any reaction

 Of course few still make me happy but for how long. I love the things that make me happy I don't want to lose any of them
 I walk around and feel like I am body less like my body is moving and if I focus really hard I'll look back and see myself laying there like all of this Is a really vivid dream. I'm scared that I will get to the point of not even thinking for myself. 
([I'm going to shift to my desired reality I'm not really sure were though I always try hogworts so I'll go there so I can go to the room of requirement and practice magic I transfer from another school in the beginning of 6th year I hope I meet draco and luna I feel I would get along with luna.])

 I only put the last part because I highly doubt anyone will read this and if anyone does read this disregard the what's in the brakets 

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andrew covell

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that sounds like a mix of apathy and nihilism

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