sometimes i wish i didnt form a deep connection with you because that would make not longing for you so much easier. sometimes i wish life was easier, that unconditional love existed outside of your parents. im not naive in knowing that what we had, is something i would search lifetimes for. well most aspects besides the one of you being able to live without me. i dont want to accept that i love ... » Continue Reading
okay really going to try and not lie to myself here; not romanticize life but be realistic. For the tenth time, ive lied to myself, ignored red flags and fed my own delusions in the past. its exhsuting convincing yourself someone is the one when they really arent. i literally tell my friends not to do that but ive been victim to it so many times. Anyways, i hung out with someone special to me this... » Continue Reading
hey what's up. life is so fucking complicated. why cant people who are on the same brainwave as you use interact with your life and the people who aren't don't further complicate it? life is fine its just its so easy to hurt people. its so easy for people to become dissatisfied and i hate doing that. i hate letting people dow » Continue Reading
ugh last post was such a total lie. they were bad and very immature. classic me telling myself someone is great before really getting to know them. bottom line not compatible at all. anyways, i’ll spill and say i am talking to a new guy, have been for a little over a month rn, and yoo it’s going like really nice for some reason?? kinda refreshing tbh we watched juno today and it made me really h... » Continue Reading
writing this on the bus to montreal, halloween weekend i’ve been really happy recently and i know who i can attribute that to. i don’t think i’m using them, i think they’re just a nice person who lets me be myself. i’d be okay if they weren’t here, but so much better when they are. part of my wants to just write every cute thing we’ve done as a form of happiness release but also to reassure myse... » Continue Reading
probably moving too fast but im happy. gonna focus more on school too he's nice to me I can see he wants to say more but is shy that's okay, because at the end of the day I am working on pleasing myself not relying on others Im so happy we're friends again, i can cry just thinking about it i hope i stay like this for a while please » Continue Reading
i wish society didn’t have such a strong grasp on the way we’re raised. i constantly go through mental conversations of: “i don’t want to be alone, you need to be okay with being by yourself, what’s the issue with surrounding yourself with people?, you’re the only person who’s always going to be there for yourself, life is too short to spend it alone, he said i need to find myself so i stop preten... » Continue Reading
so i’ve known for a while that im the type of person who attached themselves onto someone and consumes their interests. not a good habit to have because i’ve never really known who i am when i’m not in the presence of someone else who’s influencing my current personality. embarrassed that i needed someone i care about to push me to this point but glad that it’s finally happening. i want to find wh... » Continue Reading
hellooo, im doing good guys im finally coming to terms with everything not being perfect, things rarely unfold perfectly im taking a hard experience and growing from it instead of just looking at it and telling myself it was a waste of time, im looking at it as a learning experience, something that most things in life are going to be im starting to regain my happiness the person i used to be an... » Continue Reading
life is pretty good change is hard and its hard to accept when everyone tells you change is good getting used to something and then having it changed isnt easy to deal with i mean im gonna do it idk how though yet either way, schools almost over, who knows if i still got my scholarship do i care? kinda i feel like im the only person who cares about money, or is scared of the future again everyon... » Continue Reading
school sucks life suck not being happy sucks not being able to suck my own dick sucks people who cant take jokes suck chem sucks cleaning sucks being cold sucks death sucks will update probably tomorrow when everything doesnt suck anymore » Continue Reading