guidelines

i wish society didn’t have such a strong grasp on the way we’re raised. i constantly go through mental conversations of: “i don’t want to be alone, you need to be okay with being by yourself, what’s the issue with surrounding yourself with people?, you’re the only person who’s always going to be there for yourself, life is too short to spend it alone, he said i need to find myself so i stop pretending to be someone i’m not, they said who cares if you’re not okay with being alone? it’s okay to feel better with someone by your side.”. i can’t stop thinking that the way i feel is wrong, the things i want to do aren’t right. aren’t what i’ve been told to do. if i do start living for myself someone is always going to tell me to stop. and even while writing this i know i shouldn’t care what others say, but we value therapists, their opinions are subjectively correct. friends can be therapists, they look out for you, i can’t just not listen to them? i’m not alone, i have really good friends, but i’ve just never established them fully on my end. they’re always there for me but i’ve never fully invested myself in them. i know i’m going to be okay it’s just really really scary.