life update

writing this on the bus to montreal, halloween weekend 

i’ve been really happy recently and i know who i can attribute that to. i don’t think i’m using them, i think they’re just a nice person who lets me be myself. i’d be okay if they weren’t here, but so much better when they are. 

part of my wants to just write every cute thing we’ve done as a form of happiness release but also to reassure myself that we really are good. i have this tendency of tricking myself into thinking that they’re not good and that somethings wrong. which just isn’t true, at least not this time. 

i have noticed that compared to the past im is much more relaxed. for one, i’m not constantly thinking about why they’re not responding to me. 

they genuinely make me feel safe and not stressed that somethings wrong. if i ever do need a little boost of reassurance, i ask and they give it to me, they don’t make a big deal out of it or make me feel bad for needing/asking. i feel nice and safe 

anyways i hope that this stays for a while. 

my relationship with my family this past year has been doing so much better than in the past. i can talk to my mom about literally anything and my dad is the nice guy he’s always been. still really grateful for them and everything they do as well. 

i’ve also regained my high school best friend which has been so nice. i absolutely love her and i know that she has her best intentions for me. especially now that we’re adults, there’s no reason to hold any grudges, or keep someone in your life who you don’t wish the best for. anyways we literally took off where we left from last year and i really missed her. 

schools good, idk why but i don’t have a lot of motivation. nor am i stressed for school. even for my midterms i wasent stressed at all, idk if its cause i told myself i just need to pass or what but yeah. i wanna start studying more just to ensure that i’ll make it through these 4 years okay.