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1-3-25, Saturday
Category: Life
Didn't go hiking. Got a green shirt. Snufkin didn't front. My original diary entry got deleted. Had DnD. Bye. 22:41 » Continue Reading
Käfer
"Eating Luci's Wallet"
17, American/Tajik, He/It
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Käfer's Blog Entries
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28-2-25, Friday
Category: Life
The most and least stable man in the world. Nothing can hurt me. But many noises send me off into immediate meltdowns. I walked away in a fit of Rage when skittle started humming. I immidiately started sobbing when my father bit into a fresh piece of bread in the kitchen. Snufkin will not experience any of this. I will not let the world get to him. He is my dearest man, and I will preserve his ca... » Continue Reading
27-2-25, Thursday
Category: Life
Die schwere Verwundung Gregors, an der er über einen Monat litt der Apfel blieb, da ihn niemand zu entfernen wagte, als sichtbares Andenken im Fleische sitzen. Snufkin fronted. Then I did. Dread and fear. I am alone. Everybody wants my obedience and vulnerability, nobody wants to help. 08:37 Hiding in the AIT bathroom. I fear I'll get in trouble. I can't do this. I shouldn' » Continue Reading
26-2-25, Wednesday
Category: Life
00:57 Sometimes keeps making a squeaking noise it's as if someone is rocking back and forth, in my room. I'm too scared to look down and check. but I don't hear breathing or anything. It responds to me. If I move, it stops. At first I thought I hallucinated an unpleasant laughing song. Now I think Scary might be having a mental breakdown. I hope I don't have, like, a parasite in my brain. 19:07 ... » Continue Reading
25-2-25, Tuesday
Category: Life
I woke up. I was already conscious, but what really woke me up afterwards was my father yelling my deadname, as he does in the morning. I responded, but It’s 02:53. He is fast asleep. I keep having hallucinations now. They’re new, but they’re here consistently. My principal walking down the hall. A stick on the ground that I realized wasn’t there. Many odd things out the corner of my eye. This ca... » Continue Reading
24-2-25, Monday
Category: Life
Came to school late. Looked for Regan, wanted to give her Parmesan. Spending all day on Airbuds. I don’t get work done very well. I’m sensitive and everything hurts my very being. Coach Diddy wasn’t here. I had the meeting. They said to get a doctors note, and to remove myself from the classroom if I need. I got permission to walk around and switch my seat. I owe a dollar to Ms. Halloween. I wonde... » Continue Reading
23-2-25, Sunday
Category: Life
Good. Spent like half an hour alone. Then hiked. I walked 13 kilometers. We went to abandoned village with bob. The john crisis continues and i shouldn't have caffeine. 23:44 » Continue Reading
22-2-25, Saturday
Category: Life
Woke up at 2 am. Failed to make Parmesan rind snacks - the Parmesan was not dry enough. Had a dream about Mimay's parents/the moomins taking care of me. We were walking around a store and I had to read their little expressions because they don't say what they want from you 13:19 Stole food successfully. Threw food out onto the roof for the creatures. Made a list of my pride flags. Ate tons of pean... » Continue Reading
21-2-25, Friday
Category: Life
Oh boy. It's only 07:48. I have a long day ahead of me. I woke up. My sleep wasn't as good as yesterday but I'm rested enough. I am scared. I don't want to die. I don't want to break. I don't want to hurt myself. Pain, pain, pain, that's all there is out there for me, and I am scared . Dread. Make sure Arthur isn't wearing headphones during instruction Full-body » Continue Reading
20-2-25, Thursday
Category: Life
I woke up. I had only slept 6 hours, and I wake up wide awake my blood sugar is high again and i search for my Snufkin gummy. he's still there. Today I have Diddy's class again. it's a dangerous game we play, no? 4:55 Today was worse than before. As it always is. I covered my ears. Full body shaking. Noisy sobbing. Diddy asks me - “Are you okay?” “No, no I’m not okay” And so the principal and vice... » Continue Reading
19-2-25, Wednesday
Category: Life
I had a nice, deep sleep. Multiple dreams. Then I woke up at 5:30, happily. And kept having solid strong dreams until 7:30, when I was so rudely awakened by a reminder that I'm late to school. So I messaged my dad that I won't be going today. It's clear that yesterday messed me up bad, and this bird needs a little rest. He invaded my room to yell at me, so I blocked the door with my big wooden she... » Continue Reading
18-2-25, Tuesday
Category: Life
History party went well. I dressed good, I felt good, i talked well, i was well-informed - i was relaxed and happy. I watered down lemonade out of my alcohol cup and had a great time eating hotdogs and strawberries. Then Health class came up. Coach Diddy really likes to breathe loudly. It started with harmless twitching. Then I hyperventilated. I shook uncontrollably, i made involuntary sounds, th... » Continue Reading