"Questioning my life choices.. "
Mentally Overwhelmed, Emotionally Fâ¨cked
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Category: Life
This feels so foreign to me. Like a dream lost long ago. Keeping a journal is about self expression, unleashing your soul in order to unburden the mind. It's something I think everyone should do at one point or another. But, I haven't done this since I was a teenager. A journal is meant to be sacred. Secret and for your eyes only. Yet my privacy was destroyed. My room invaded. No longer a safe... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Turns out the new Doctor I'm going to see today isn't an HRT specialist. He's a regular MD. ( My other PCP and Nurse practitioner that I was preciously seeing left Florida due to the fucked up laws that DeSantis put into place..) So now, I have to be on guard while at my appointment. I'm really hoping he isn't homophobic or tries to tell me I shouldn't be on HRT. As it stands, the Doctors here c... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Life
I met with my neurologist yesterday, and I'm still confused over my EMG and blood work/urinalysis results. They cannot figure out why I have neuropathy. None of the tests brought any answers. Just more questions. Even more confusing, she said that I had an alarmingly high amount of steroids in my system. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I've been on a weird sleep cycle, again. With how much it's been raining, and the constant fluctuation in the heat/cold - my body hasn't been responding well. So I sleep all day, as best I can and then I'm awake all night. I've been trying to fix it, but whenever I do manage for a few days the air pressu » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
This is the new routine. I'm awake all night due to an inability to quiet my mind and lay in bed. Plagued by so many questions, worries and fears. Pain flare ups due to the change in the air pressure and weather. ( Living in the south is a bless and a curse all in one. ) Life has given me so many wonderful experiences, and introduced some kind people into my life. I am thankful for everything I'... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Fell down the stairs, again, last night while I was trying to walk my puppy. The overhead light in the hallway burnt out, and none on in the apartment complex has changed it out. So, my puppy is fine. Me however? My foot hurts, and I cannot put weight on it. If it's not better by tomorrow, I'll be going to urgent care no matter how much I say "I'm fine." Because this keeps happening, and my hou... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Life
( I've had so many medical tests, and traumatic incidents over this past few years that I don't even know how to properly process everything. It all feels too much to handle. ) Life has been a lot and I'm struggling to figure things out. I've had to go to so many doc » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
You're there in my memories, haunting the corridors. Every now and then I think of you. Nostalgic for a time when we existed in the same universe. Afternoons spent laying on the floor in your workshop, the heavy scent of leather in the air. I could watch you for hours as you crafted. Nights spent on your motorcycle as we road around town. I forgive you for leaving. I forgive you for the lies that ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Earlier this evening, my Wife found a manila envelope that contained some old school files, and test scores from when I was living with my Mom. ( I'm not entirely sure why I took it. There isn't much in there that really matters. Or so I thought.) But she went through it with me, and kept getting more and more upset. The files in there were information from my "IEP". There was a lot of conflict... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
Time blinds us, marking our souls. » Continue Reading
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