How tf am I supposed to feel rn?

Weird finding out that my narcissistic mom is stalking my Instagram, has been for a while. She knows what I look like, has updated pictures and information about me. 

Should scare me, considering she's a violent republican that has wished me dead for being queer and trans.

What do I actually feel, after finding out she had to get life flighted and has to sleep sitting up due to her failing health…?

I dunno. As a Pagan, and Spiritual person, I shouldn't want to laugh at another person's misery or pain.

But as someone who endured abuse due to her neglect 

the other half of me is cackling. Because inevitably she's going to kick the bucket. Her actions caught up with her, finally.

It's a fucked up situation all around.

I'm trying to be a better person. Someone that is healing their trauma. I dunno. I'm stuck.