Whelp, realizing alot.

Finding out I have an 'avoidant attachment style' is humbling.

I'm still learning how to be open and present with my Fiancé. She helped me escape a really, really fucked up situation and for that I'm eternally thankful and indebted to her.

Since meeting her, I've had my eyes opened to the abuse I was enduring and brain washing that had been happening for years. It was terrifying to realize I had been groomed, since I was fucking 19.

It was bad.

I'm 33 now, and finally have a life of my own. I can make decisions, dress how I want, eat what I want. This is the most freedom I've ever had.

…I wasn't allowed to have a voice, ever. Not even as a child.

Going from one abusive situation to another really messed me up.

I'm 33 now, and finally have a life of my own. I can make decisions, dress how I want, eat what I want. This is the most freedom I've ever had.

…I wasn't allowed to have a voice, ever. Not even as a child.

Going from one abusive situation to another really messed me up.

I'm free now. The woman that is helping me to heal and find my identity ( on my own, she is not directing me, just helping me to sit with questions ).

Due to the brain damage and trauma I've endured, I do need her help from time to time. I have memory issues and sometimes I get stuck.

But she helps me.

Life hasn't been fair to her at all either. The life she had to endure…her and I lived similar traumas and relationships.

We didn't trauma-bond. We're healing together. Breaking cycles.

Neither of us can handle anymore trauma or bullshit. We made the decision that this is it.

We're making a life together and we want to be happy.

Learning to laugh again. To live.

It's nice.