Performed a magick ritual on the 21st as per Mildred. I've been collecting Ov and Blood over the period of each month without trying too hard. I haven't been forcing it. If the moment arises and I bleed, well, never let good blood go to waste! If I don't bleed it's a test from the universe toward my will. Nonetheless I've been trying to roll with my intuition and a little combination of fate, or... » Continue Reading
Entered a fit of depression and just spent the last 24 hours in bed catatonic. Trying not to enter a new fit *of rage* at the grief over the time wasted, and break everything in my house right now. What's the point? I don't even want to write about it here. I don't know why I wrote this, I thought maybe it might make me feel better about all of this. I'll never get the time back. EDIT: I got drun... » Continue Reading
Sorry I’ve been absent, dear non-existent or non-essential reader. Been very busy with work and preparing for the recording sessions. I’ve spent 70+ hours on the automated click tracks. I’ve yet to write on many things. I’ve much to write! I’ve been quite reflective recently and paralyzed with the synesthetic assault of my OCD. I won’t censor much so if some sentiment is retarded or cringe it’s th... » Continue Reading
The dull hum, a low whirr of the deceleration and acceleration of a train. The vinegar smell of pissed on iron, and sweat. The clanking and the rhythm as it roll across the tracks. Conversations, loud annoying music on a speaker from some dude on a bicycle, old abuelita with a plastic Vons bag. Somehow all of it lulls me to sleep. I struggle to keep my heavy eye-lids from settling down. Something ... » Continue Reading
I don't know where to begin with this one. I suppose a small life update. Back to work, in every facet of life. Foster from Washed started staying at my place this weekend and it was his 22nd birthday. I hope he had fun. Tonight Kaden and Kiva are coming over too. They need to stay here for the week because Kaden's uncle fell through. They're most likely moving to Lake Arrowhead. Exciting for them... » Continue Reading
Things are coming along. For some reason I have a feeling that things are going to be great, for once in my godforsaken life. Here's the track list for Mildred Pt. 1 in no particular order thus far: » Continue Reading
Today, I woke up with a clear nose for the first time in a while. Then I hibernated until 3 in the afternoon. I'm still on vacation, or my birthday, or whatever it is. So I've partaken in another 450mg of LSD fictionally that is in this narrative writing project. I'm currently listening to Heaven In Your Head by Nuclear Daisies. I got put on a deferral from Cryobank for 30 days thank god, so I can... » Continue Reading
Well, the 450mg or so of LSD were very good. I tried to get as many people to join me on the trip and watch Nowhere by Gregg Araki. There was some bisexual shower masturbation James Duval intro to Avalyn by Slowdive that I forgot about. It made everyone uncomfortable and they put on Skyrim music. Which was hilarious. Thank god they did it, I almost dosed everyone and made them watch a Rorschach pa... » Continue Reading
It's my birthday tomorrow, I'm turning 23. I don't know what to expect for my birthday, but that's my favorite part. I can't help but think of my grandfather. For some reason his death bothers me more than my father's. Something about the injustice of it all. He picked up some hitchhikers in Chechnya and they stabbed him 46 times and left him to bleed out in the woods. He begged for his life, he t... » Continue Reading