12/8/24

So I’m kind of going through a lot right now. I don’t know if I can manage guiding and caring for all of my friends and making sure I’m the best friend without fucking up. I don’t know if I can save everyone from themselves let alone myself. I don’t know if I’ll nail this monumental task of finishing this record with 23 musicians on it. I’m not sure where I’ll be or what I’ll do once this is over. I have plans I don’t think I can accomplish afterwards. All I have left though is to try. I’m not a perfect person, in fact I’m far from it. I’m harsh and critical of everything and everyone around me. For some idiotic reason, I pursue the truth no matter what. Even if it’s to my detriment. My teeth still hurt, will get dental insurance. Haven’t been able to smell for a week. My nose was bleeding. I can finally sort of smell. Got sick after the show. Buried a beautiful kitten who got run over after the show. Sometimes it feels like no matter what I do I end up hurting someone. Sometimes the tragedy of life seems to be that no matter how much we love we unintentionally harm. Like when that person ran over the cat, they still don’t even know.