"god, i don't know if you exist, but if you do... you've got me pissed!" affection for those loved ones, passion for a craft, a fiery lust for life-all tethers, no matter how strong, seem to be met with the same fate in the end. it seems almost unjust how we're expected to graciously accept the fact that everything we love, everything we liv » Continue Reading
how strange it is to be anything at all. what is life, if not a cage specifically created to trap us into a rhythm that we falsely believe to be a product of our own free will? has god forsaken me? are we not all equal in the eyes of god as his children? why must i be tortured to the end of days? my mind is filled with an endless number of questions that will never be answered. when left to my own... » Continue Reading
welcome back to my monthly scheduled unsolicited oversharing session! hope everyone's april was far more delightful than mine has been haha i've found myself constantly crying and lashing out(mostly towards myself) during this past month. i've rarely cried in the last couple of months, so i don't know what exactly the trigger was. bad things and stressful interactions always happen, but april's ov... » Continue Reading
as the days turn (not-so) warm, the month of march finally comes to a close. i oh so desperately yearn to be loved and to love. i long for the feeling of falling so deeply for somebody, wanting to do everything and anything possible for them. i desire to be wanted, to be somebody's muse, to be smothered with all the love i could ever wish for. and yet i am so afraid. i am deeply terrified » Continue Reading
what an insane time this month has been. february's always a tough time for me. i'm always emotionally struggling through my birthday, just trying my best to get through it. the ocean calms my nerves. i book a 3-hour bus ride at 5am, restless from lack of sleep. despite my freezing fingers and cold cheeks, i feel the lulling call of the crashing waves inviting me to fall » Continue Reading