I wasted my youth so obsessed with sex. Whether it was with dating boys and making my life all about the boy I was dating or the sexual experience I was getting, I was so focused on this that it took over the rest of my adolescents. I started sugar-dating at 15 and I sincerely believed that I could make a stable living off getting money from old men. Then I got caught and I decided I can't do it ... » Continue Reading
I hope I'm not such a anxious, squirming wreck this time. Shit is embarrassing. Ik it's normal, but it's still nonetheless so degrading x_x » Continue Reading
I, and along with everyone I know, am looking for jobs. And it sucks. I've never worked before, and it makes me feel like a dumb belly-scratching loser. It makes me anxious how much money I spend and don't get back. I need a job so bad and I feel like we've all been feeling that way. Shit's been tough. Life is Rough. So it be. My dream job? Doing small tedious repetitive work like stocking shelve... » Continue Reading
I hate eating. I hate being seen eating. And I hate especially when my sister sees me eating. Because she's always been the prettier, better, thinner, better one and I've always been the stupid ugly fat loser that has no talent and is only spoken of under breathe. While she gets to be praised at the family table. They always give her the compliments, saying she looks so beautiful and I get fucking... » Continue Reading
We took dextro, which is like Adderall ig, and we all took like 30 mg. And it was fun asf at first, it felt like our conversation could last forever, which it kinda did all we did was talk all night. but like after like 15 hours, omg... I felt my heart rate stay consistently fast even as I laid in bed, and I was feeling anxious asf about if I was about to have a self induced panic attack or worse ... » Continue Reading
Oh angel oh angel Oh angel in mud Bite me, infect me Blessed venom in my blood You're warm, blinding You make it so easy to give in You tempt me without trying Oh angel in mud With long, brittle hair Blend my worries with the sea It's like they're never there It's just you and me An angel in mud Too high to breathe » Continue Reading
Hidden from the sun Locked away above 21 Where no eyes can meet mine Afternoon dreaming full of yearning I live on in whispers Rumors passed between ears The shadow behind curtains Eyes under blinds On the calmest nights you can hear footsteps But no one's ever seen the shoes What's left, the smell of smoke from the cigarettes Crushed ash in front of my door » Continue Reading
I used to consider myself good at writing and sometimes poetry, but now I'm not even good at that these days. I can write like 2 semi-okay lines, but then I can't manage to write anything more. Not about love, not about drugs, not about the fear of becoming my mother, not about the psych-ward, not about ANYTHING! I am good at JACK-SQUAT!!! I can barely even doodle, they lowest form of drawing. id... » Continue Reading
They weren't hiring... so now I'm still just a neet that does drug, instead of a cool person that works for what they want. Bummer :/ » Continue Reading
I hope I get the job, I want to know what it's like to have my own paycheck :3 I'm excited for the routine :3 Besides, I just bought a TV, and I want to be able to pay for my own stuff now, like, bro. I'm literally old asf, if I don't get a job this year it's basically so over for me :P » Continue Reading
I hope I get the job, I want to know what it's like to have my own paycheck :3 I'm excited for the routine :3 Besides, I just bought a TV, and I want to be able to pay for my own stuff now, like, bro. I'm literally old asf, if I don't get a job this year it's basically so over for me :P » Continue Reading
If I don't get a fix soon I think I'm gonna do something I shouldn't. Like run off to a different city or do morphine until I'm 70 pounds and fused to the floor or something. I have always said that when I'm old and ready to die I'd want to try the one thing that takes all: The angel on the highest cloud, the angel in mud. But idk, I think I'll give myself a week. If I still feel this low then may... » Continue Reading