"sleeping"
21, australia
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— 1 Comment— 6 Kudos
Category: Blogging
This Thursday, I am 21, and the air curls sweet with bergamot and pastry crumbs. Just days ago I submitted my Honours’ thesis, an 8,000-word stone, heavy and smoothed, hurled into a waterfall, vanishing into the mist that drifts through high altitude air. With my birthday and my thesis both behind me, this week feels like a late spring evening in the countryside: the air cold, trampling over the z... » Continue Reading
— 3 Kudos
Category: Blogging
I chose my alarm clock on purpose. It rumbles like an earthquake, jitters with banshee-screams of terror, and submits to the freezing chokehold of my hand at 7:30 in the morning. It performs perfectly. Right on time, my sober, arid throat replenished itself with three-day-old water (in the crystal carafe, naturally) and I packed my bags with all possible haste. Today I returned to the Noble Hills,... » Continue Reading
— 7 Kudos
Category: Blogging
In exactly a month, it will be my twenty-first birthday. A strange thing to reckon with for someone who vacillates between feeling sixteen and thirty-five, depending on the day. I remember the violence of salty wind thrashing against the wide, picturesque windows of the restaurant during last year’s celebration. The taste of some hybrid concoction—rum, whisky, a warmth—gliding down my parched thro... » Continue Reading
— 12 Kudos
Category: Blogging
The crisp asphalt of the new, undulating road is lined with the giggle of weeds—elegant and upstanding, like narcissists in petal fedoras. I drag my black sneakers, dusted with red dirt and millipede corpses, up the manmade trail, scouting for a gap in the endless electrified fences where I might shortcut up Noble Hill. No such luck. Madonna blares through my earphones and I shakily frame my Nokia... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
At 3:43AM I woke to the percussion of clinking glasses and raucous laughter seeping through the too-thin walls of my neighbour’s house. Sometimes I suspect it is an Airbnb. I hear unfamiliar voices while tending to my herb garden, and I have noticed the strange, inconsistent kaleidoscope of lighting, shifting with each new set of guests. But at 3AM on a Sunday night, with workers and students hour... » Continue Reading
— 12 Kudos
Category: Blogging
A recollection of a week with my flip phone, an unreasonable enthusiasm for political commentary on YouTube, a deepening pit of burrowing anxiety in my gut, and Sicilian lemon gelato. Time is not as I remember it. Instead of unfurling into a great, bright path studded with increasing numbers and footsteps, it crouches at my feet like a torture » Continue Reading
— 7 Kudos
Category: Life
I realize I haven't updated in around a month now - July really passed me by. I got pretty deep into writing my thesis, cleaning a lot of data that I didn't end up using (oops) and today I need to move on and start working on what to say in my Discussion section (possibly the most important part of the whole document). I ended up finding some pretty unusual effects that contradicted one of my hypo... » Continue Reading
— 1 Comment— 3 Kudos
Category: Blogging
The house is filled with still, almost smoky air and there are two mold-kissed carrots embracing in the fridge. After spending half a week in the countryside, feeling bare skin against dew-laden grass and cold air ripple through the shutters, I am back home. The lights make my eyes feel all smudged, somehow too bright but too dim, and there is a constant ringing in my ears and a pounding anxiety t... » Continue Reading
— 8 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
Yesterday marked the winter solstice; the air was dry and sharp like a collection of invisible serrated knives, the haze of clouds above held the distant hills ransom - all pale blue, leaning against the sky. After a few weeks of devolving into complete nothingness, I made my way up to Noble Hills and felt the gentle, unexpected kiss of sunlight on my shoulders. It seems the weather was indecisive... » Continue Reading
— 2 Comments— 8 Kudos
Category: Life
If I drive myself insane, that is my own fault. I'm at my desk, which currently has loose paper strewn across it, all scribbly blue ink and violent red corrections. I cannot afford to misunderstand anything, to misread a word - I have to keep going. I have to feel every single concept on the lecture slides like it is the sweat seeping out of me, like a galvanic skin response that keeps on going, a... » Continue Reading
— 1 Comment— 4 Kudos
Category: Blogging
I woke up on Sunday with the strange smudge of a bruise on my left arm, the colour of ochre and celadon. This morning I woke up to find cat scratches on my chest, non-parallel - there's a disordinal interaction happening right there. Someone open up Jamovi and investigate whether the interaction is removable or not. Can you tell I have my statistics final coming up soon? No? Aw, you're so kind. An... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Blogging
Sometimes I think about the past. When you’re truly fed up with someone, even the small, stupid ding of an iMessage can feel like a hand closing around your windpipe. The body reacts before the mind does: jaw tightening, stomach tightening, hands itching to do something irrational with your phone. In June 2024, I considered tossing mine into the river behind the university. That month was defined... » Continue Reading
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