Melamine

I realize I haven't updated in around a month now - July really passed me by. I got pretty deep into writing my thesis, cleaning a lot of data that I didn't end up using (oops) and today I need to move on and start working on what to say in my Discussion section (possibly the most important part of the whole document). I ended up finding some pretty unusual effects that contradicted one of my hypotheses, but I can't begin to imagine what would've caused them. I'll start the deep dive today.

After Semester 1 exams finished up, I became pretty lonely rather quickly and started seeking an insane amount of validation online (which I am happily done with). I have been erratically unfollowing and soft-blocking people not even because I don't like them, but because I feel sort of embarassed seeing their lives and learning about them when I understand my own life to be so stagnant. I get up, walk around, do some flashcards, cook food and eat it. I am considering something later... making fresh crepes with marscapone and tart cherry jam. I have been imagining it for a few days now, hopefully it lives up to my expectations. I really really love marscapone.

Today I prepped some satay chicken and some ginger soy stir fry - the ingredients ended up coming to around $40 for only 4-5 serves. Then again, I only eat high protein and fresh vegetables, so that's bound to inflate the price. I think I might be spending way too much on groceries lately, though. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. Better to spend it on that and learn to cook, rather than buying takeout every other day. I did buy a $5 ready meal last night and it was so underwhelming, maybe about 3 smidges of chicken in the whole rice box. My ideal protein/carb ratio is 70/30 and this box was probably 20/80 which is terrible! I understand protein is expensive but it is the most important part of the meal besides the fibre.

James Bond era ended up clearing up (I think it must've been more of a Daniel Craig era if anything) and has been replaced with IWTV/The Vampire Chronicles. I've been listening to the audiobook version of 'The Vampire Lestat' while on my night walks for a little while now. I am embarassingly obsessed with Armand. It sort of feels like that period of my life when I started learning about Hannibal Lecter and it clung to my braincells like superglue. Yep, it is happening all over again but for some Venetian twink with manipulative tendencies.

I've evolved and realised there isn't anything wrong with fantasy, it is such a morally neutral thing. I am allowed to think about somebody who I care about very much and our potential for adventure even if the logistics aren't entirely there. It is just a form of manifestation in the end... Learning more about the United States is scaring me slightly, especially in the flood of Epstein scandal news and my newfound interest in biohazards and contamination. Also just biowarfare via corporate greed. I can explain this. I sort of categorise addictive substances (ultraprocessed foods, depressant/stimulant 'alternatives') as being a kind of collective biowarfare on the population. The further we stray from real food, the more reliant we become on large corporations and our health suffers more as a consequence. It is a weird interest I have gotten into but I think it is interesting to learn about...

I need to brainstorm for some policy framework assessment for one of my units, and I'm thinking about looking at the social behaviour of "doxxing", particularly when done to teenagers/minors. It is a very under-researched area and something that can cause a decent amount of harm, though I guess it is a subset of cyberbullying, so I could connect it back to that. It has just been on my mind... and then how would I intervene? I might look into it and then pick something easier, probably, unless it works out.

Okay! Bye.