"Dealing with safety hazards."
Nuclear botanist, Bureau of Atypical Instances
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Category: Blogging
//Unreality November 16, 1997 Please return the algae sample labeled "RADIATION HAZARD - DO NOT HANDLE" to Artemis Byrd in Gilfilan 235 ASAP. It is, in fact, a radiation hazard as the label suggests. I hadn't finished examining the little buggers and I need them back. Also, they WILL KILL YOU. PLEASE RETURN THEM. They were spitting out somewhere in the ballpark of TWO HUNDRED CPM, » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
//Unreality October 23, 1997 Hello all, I apologize for the time anomaly that Gilfilan is currently experiencing. In case you are unaware, the entire building seems to have shifted back into last October. Researchers are advised not to log into the GOOSY system or any other software that records the passage of time until the anomaly is resolved. And pl » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
//Unreality November 20, 1997 I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but Management doesn't have the balls to deal with approximately one hundred disgruntled fission scientists. As the subject line suggests, the board game "Chess" is now banned from Gilfilan laboratories. You are no longer allowed to play the game in laboratory spaces in this building, nor are you allowed to construct makeshift c... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
//Unreality November 19 1997 To the fine folks who planned to cook and eat sample Fungi-B-3006 (which, for those who haven't spent the last three years up to their eyeballs in sample records, is a shiitake mushroom that's been spitting out Beta particles by the thousands per minute) please reconsider your choice of cuisine. (I assure you, beta-decay-ing mushrooms are NOT part of a balanced diet.) » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
//Unreality November 17 1997 To answer some of the questions I have received since posting a request for my radioactive algae to be returned: yes, this is not the first time a specimen has gone missing. Yes, it was Charlie who set the first one loose. Yes, it began growing in Gilfilan's ventilation system. It did not spread to other buildings and it has since been complet » Continue Reading
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