Nuclear Botany Incident Number One Follow-up

November 17 1997

To answer some of the questions I have received since posting a request for my radioactive algae to be returned: yes, this is not the first time a specimen has gone missing. Yes, it was Charlie who set the first one loose. Yes, it began growing in Gilfilan's ventilation system. It did not spread to other buildings and it has since been completely removed. Unrelated, if you happen to see any lichens growing in the vents, please contact me immediately.

No, I did not file an incident report. The number of radiation poisoning cases in Gilfilan did not increase significantly following the incident. Yes, the number of radiation poisoning cases in Gilfilan is large enough to determine statistic significance. No, that does not reflect poorly on my performance. I'm not in charge of safety, I just grow radioactive plants. Contact the Bureau's Health Department if you have concerns, or if you have complaints, contact HR.

By the way, I'm still waiting for my radioactive algae to be returned. I'm not kidding when I say it will irradiate you in ways that leading experts in the field (me) haven't even discovered yet. Please give it back ASAP, I don't want to file any more Cause of Death paperwork.

-- Artemis Byrd (she/her), Nuclear Botany Department, Gilfilan 235