Please Return my Radioactive Algae

I hadn't finished examining the little buggers and I need them back. Also, they WILL KILL YOU. PLEASE RETURN THEM. They were spitting out somewhere in the ballpark of TWO HUNDRED CPM, they are NOT safe to handle without protective equipment (which you'd better have used! If you're going to steal my dangerous substances then you'd BETTER at least wear the proper PPE!) Regardless, please return the sample before you develop types of tumors doctors haven't even discovered yet.

And I swear to the Gods Above, if one of you set it loose in the ventilation system (again) (looking at you, Charlie), I WILL be filing a formal complaint. This is extremely unprofessional and I will not be covering for you miscreants if you set an ecological hazard loose in the building a second time in one year. I could deal with that once, but twice is TOO MANY!