i come back here every few months. my state pf mind changes but my state of being doesn't. i think ive finally dropped out of college. i want to die. i want to kill myself & see what happens after. i want to see who comes to my funeral. who comes to mourn. i want people to see what i had become. i am playing such a long game of pretend. i pretend i want to be here. i truly have given up. you just ... » Continue Reading
i want to do too many things. i dont know what is holding me back, other than me though. i want to travel cook write draw paint crochet sew create i want to create. & i want to experience. but there is not enough time. there is not enough space. i do not have enough of anything. » Continue Reading
i wish you never fucking kissed me i wish i never fell in love with you i wish i was enough for you to love i wish everything had gone differently i wish i was prettier or skinnier or cuter or less of me i wish i wasn't me, i suppose is the ending to this » Continue Reading
to be made of flesh is humiliation feel my skin & the way my blood will pour the way my hair will fall out like death from a tree in autumn the delicacy of humanity leaves me tearing at my lungs my voice aches from voiceless cries i will tear the meat from my bones an utter mess, wrapped in crimson i see god in you heartless, cruel, lovely, beautiful you will put a gun to my head » Continue Reading
-no children, the mountain goats i hope i cut myself shaving tomorrow i hope it bleeds all day long our friends say its darkest before the sun rises we're pretty sure they're all wrong i hope it stays dark forever i hope the worst isn't over & i hope you blink before i do » Continue Reading