"bring back the fucking danger in the music"
15, any pronouns, lithuania
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Category: Blogging
though life has been relatively great and psychologically i believed i was improving, but the looming black cloud of depression and violent insecurity is something i will never escape honestly, as far as i remember, my brain has always pushed my mind to the idea that i'm incredibly ugly. that there is nothing attractive about me and that there is something fundamentally wrong with me. to an extent... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
hello spacehey blog It has been a little while Life is okay-ish My room is being worked on and my life is going to be an overstimulating nightmare until then Idk how i will survive. Buyt whatevr I bought some books [ babel; negative space; meilė, džiazas ir velnias ] and umm I BOUGHT MY FIRST PAIR OF ACTUAL REAL NORMAL CONVERSE!!! I'VE been wanting hightops for awhile and now i Have theemmmm yaa... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
my life, as far as i remember it, has been wrapped around my own spacing out . I've spent life in my own head since i was young and it's either gotten worse as i age and figure things out or it's been just as bad and i've only started completely realizing it recently . thinking takes up the majority of my time, i find myself in trances, completely zoned out imagining something . my being alone i... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
i find myself agonizingly lonely sometimes . especially at night . Recently i've started opening my window when it's dark to stare out And i'm trying to enjoy this before the temperature warms up and all the gross bugs crawl out again. and i feel . So. So lonely. something about the silence of it, how dark it is fills my mind with everything i could be doing . All the things i'm missing out on all... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
as someone who makes ocs i believe it is inevitable to somehow put tidbits of yourself and the people surrounding you into your ocs. all of mine are vaguely based off myself but recently i've been realizing that i am making. absurd amounts of metalhead ocs. and blonde ones. and the metalhead part, okay, sure, i consider myself one So that makes sense, right. But the thing is i used to preach about... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
i feel like i physically cannot be creative anymore . i can't draw or write for the life of me and even just thinking of anything creative feels like it's frying my brain . I was relatively chill with this, considering i have moments of like several month long artblocks and stuff, but i can't do Anything . i feel like such a fuck up of an artist i don't want to do anything but it's really violentl... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
pierced my eyebrow on the 20th i believe... Last saturday basically. the worry about it migrating/rejecting is UNREAL and i keep accidentally bumping it and that's not helping. oh well. the other day i was walking home after school and i was thinking about how i've been clean for like 2 months or so [insert confetti here] and like for a few minutes it was like. Wow that's kinda awesome. but then i... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
hopefully getting my eyebrow pierced tomorrow Yaaay!!!! my endless waiting has been wurf eet sometimes i think i speak way too much like is it truly an issue . Possibly a genetic issues because my dad and his side of the family are incapable of shutting the fuck up lowkey but that's beside the point Today is an especially bad instance of this because i've been having a good day and i jst would NO... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
occasionally life feels as if i am in one of those torture traps to get information out of me where they let water droplets fall onto your forehead and it slowly drives you insane But instead i feel like i'm a rock and the water is slowly eroding away at my prefrontal cortex and the only information you're getting out of me is. Well. Um nothing. This weather is like kind of killing me i slipped a... » Continue Reading
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