brand new

the timing of this can't be coincidental. I know that I've been experiencing a lot of blasts from the past lately, and it seems like a lot of others are too. Scorpio season I guess, plus an upcoming eclipse woven into our desires to live our lives better than we have been. In releasing the past, all of your past selves come out to remind you who you have been when you needed to survive, and who you were before you had to live in fear. It feels hard to differentiate the two when you've been scared since the day you came home. This person I've become, am becoming, feels like the person I prayed I could be when nobody else could step up. I don't know how long I'll hold onto survival mode, or if I will be able to even let it go, but I feel it getting closer. The days pass me faster than I can notice, but an upside is that some days I wake up to find my old skin laying next to me. Though I was itching and itching wondering what was crawling under my skin, there's relief in realizing that it's over, and that it might've been worth it. The days are here where I catch myself peeling, and just want to rip it off to get the process over with.