"trying"
25, mtf
Last active:
SpaceHey Blog URL:
https://blog.spacehey.com/profile?id=3665738
— 2 Kudos
Category: Blogging
im so confused. everyday i just continue to not understand how to get better, how to take advantage of anything going on in my life, how to recuperate and feel okay for any amount of extended time, what i need or what im looking for, how to keep going, how to feel better, im not learning anything worthwhile. ive been seeing this psych for a few months now and it feels like ive found the perfect on... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
made a new friend on twitter this week and they've let me watch them play Borderlands 4 a few times over vc. i dont know why when people are actually nice to me it turns me into a shell of a person. ive gotten to talk to a therapist this year about my childhood and how i got treated, and ive gotten to understand a lot more of why my mind jumps so quickly to assuming that when ppl r nice to me that... » Continue Reading
— 2 Comments— 4 Kudos
Category: Blogging
all my life watching good people get slowly so so completely sick of me. im exhausted of myself as well and im sorry. » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Blogging
did a screening test for autism and adhd and doctor is even more convinced that most of what's been going on my whole life stems from that. its very affirming and i am not surprised. this is such a rough week. my pms cycle started again, idk whats going on with my immune system but i have a cold too now and my ears and eyes itch so bad it woke me up in the middle of the night. my girlfriend is doi... » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
i was with my christian boyfriend for 3 years before He left me bc we couldn't make a baby together. its been a week. He's heaving sobs between my breasts telling me that He's sorry. that He's a bad person. and im telling Him that what we had will always be special even if His heart needs something else now. im patting the tears from His face. He's still inside me. my laptop has fallen to a floor... » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
did u feel desirable when He bent u over His hair trailing down ur back tip-toeing memories down ur spine is He fucking sin out of u or are u murdering Him in Hot Blood taking the life of a Promising Young Man where is the line between gifted and impressionable and why is the finish line always a lonely, foggy town why is salvation only ever a black mask, » Continue Reading
— 1 Kudos
Category: Blogging
ive always thought that if id jsut had a normal sibling that it wouldn’t be so hard on my family that im suicidal and trans. my mum has said a ton of stuff that can seem kinda bigoted and every conversation we have is a dance around reality, but i understand why she does it. i think that for her whole world to not come crashing down she just has to think of me at all times as her 6 year old son th... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
i think if i woke up in my house and there were 6 locks over the front door and it was covered in chains and all the walls were grey with age...i cant help but feel like there would almost be something freeing about it. i think a lot about the awful things that can happen, especially in the last few months - my brain going through ridiculous scenarios and various flashbacks has gotten even more ou... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
ive had 3 days off in a row the last few days bc i had to see my hrt doctor day 1, then i saw a new psychologist for the first time, and yesterday i just got off bc i thought i would be exhausted and yeah i was - but im also exhausted today and im working the night shift in about an hour. things were fine but i asked if i could go in a bit early to test our psvitas out so i could trade for one tom... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
i feel like im trying so hard to be my childhood hero. not even in a nice emotional way like im trying to be the person my kid self lacked, i mean im trying so hard to become everything that i idolised when i was a kid. and there's so many different aspects of all of that already, but im chasing all these dreams that feel so illusive to me. like no matter how much of these dreams i come to grasp i... » Continue Reading
— 7 Kudos
Category: Blogging
tw gonna bring up my sh history because i was up thinking about it all last night. i always have insomnia but this was just in overdrive. im normally even kinda happy to get extra time to just wander around through my imagination at night bc at least im not fast travelling to waking up and going to work the next day. this was me just staring at the ceiling with my ears itching and my brain on fire... » Continue Reading
Report User
