"toiling away"
she. 22. gemini.
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Category: Life
it's difficult to be content today. i did everything i wanted to do on my day off of work: i wrote a little bit, i took a walk, i ate some good food, i bought some trinkets. but it's graduation weekend, and my city is filled with grads having parties and celebrating with friends. i had the option to drive up to see my mom for mother's day, but that would have been even more depressing because when... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
my most self destructive trait is also my biggest fear. i have a fear of trying and failing. not just the failing, which i have come to expect of myself, but the trying followed by the failing. it is virtually impossible to try not to try, and "try what?" you might ask, but even that i don't have an answer for. i feel like i live in a revolving door of learning something new about my creative spir... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
i suppose i'm doing better than i was in my last blog post. my mind has cleared of the self deprecating fog and since then, i've visited family and friends in chicago. i went to a showing of dinner in america that included a cast q+a after and then got so scared to meet the actors that i bolted out of there. very lame, i know, but i have my reasons. it was a ~spiritual~ experience watching my favo... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
for the last two days i've felt horrible. i feel like i'm at the mercy of my body, and i will be the first to admit i don't take care of myself as well as i should, but the demands of life versus the demands of my needs (physical, spiritual) clash. i should probably wake up at 6 a.m. to stretch every muscle, drink three glasses of water, and appreciate the sunset; i should probably be reading more... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
new years objectives : read more, create, and chill out so far, i've finished four books and tried not to ruminate too much. i don't have a lot of goals in life, but i know i want to activate my creativity more often. i have really slept on it for far too long--years, even. i kept collecting tools and scraps, thinking of all the ways i could make something out of them, and never following through.... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
its scary to be vulnerable online. i used to do it so easily as a kid. maybe before i knew any risk. twitter was like a sanctuary for all of my thoughts and interests. i was really active in early youtube stan culture, like a lot of kids were. that's the space i found my best friend, who i'm still friends with ten years later. everyone else from that time has drifted away. it's something about me,... » Continue Reading
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