Lvl17
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Category: Life
The past few days have been fine, the pills started taking effect around the first week of taking them. I feel okay. My impulses are nowhere to be seen other than eating like a pig, those pesky thoughts of dying are gone too for the most part, this week has been good. School was supposed to start tomorrow but ther » Continue Reading
Category: Life
My previous entries didn't have drawings so I added some to try and lessen how serious they come off as. I will probably keep updating entries whenever I find they don't have a drawing. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Ive always hated how people make assumptions about me, it makes me so angry that i just explode. It just feels so demeaning. Maybe I'm just overreacting, maybe I did deserve all those punishments and batterings, maybe I am a spoiled and attention seeking, rotten, child. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
It really annoys me when people make assumptions about me, like they magically know what I'm going to do next. I wanted a bike, I still want it but I know I don't deserve things like that. People assume I wanted it to hang out with a group of friends even though I haven't even known them for long, it angers me. I wanted it for school, to be able to go there and back home more easily without bother... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I've been thinking about an specific location, one I hadn't gone to in years. I think I'll should do it there, its one of my favorite places, the rocks in the bottom will do the job. I remember kids used to backflip off a talk rock onto the water, maybe I can find a tall cliff close by. I wonder how long it would take to find me, maybe I'll make it easy so they don't have to deal with something al... » Continue Reading
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Category: Life
There's so many things I wish I could do. I wish I could wear clothes that I don't detest, clothes that I feel comfortable in. I wish I could have learned an instrument, I really like the drums. I wish I could have gotten tattoos, I think that kind of art is wonderful. I wish I could have gotten piercings, » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Sometimes I wonder how sick I actually am. I'm fine Physically, not underweight or overweight, no injuries, just a really weak immune system. I know that mentally I'm sick, very sick, so sick that my pills don't even work. I keep getting urges and thoughts but that's my fault for not speaking up, for not talking about what's really going on in my brain. » Continue Reading
Category: Life
Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it following the plan. What's the money going to do, i can never repay the amount of money I've taken by living. Maybe I shouldn't take the car, the moment I'm gone it might get stolen before it's found since I am leaving it unlocked with the keys. Would a letter even be worth it? What would I even write there, it would be filled with empty words that I don't ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I'm going crazy. I asked for help until I gave up time and time again and I'm hanging on by a thread. I can't tell anybody about what's going on. Whenever I tried to get help from my friends or family, my trust was betrayed and I was left on my own to deal with it. I begged and pleaded. I got so desperate that I even begged God after realizing just how alone I was. I talk to the air a lot. I somet... » Continue Reading
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
This dream is the clearest one I remember or at least one of them. I can't tell if they occurred on the same night or if I just dreamed of them separately. Spinning buildings, spinning colorful buildings. Not in circles or a solid direction but spinning in different directions constantly. Once you get in, you will always end up on the outside. On the brink of death A flying elevator, not a modern ... » Continue Reading
Category: Life
I go to the bus stop every day, greet my friends, go to school, wait for the class to start, do my work, go to lunch, grab an extra milk bag, buy extra lunch, and talk with friends if they want to acknowledge me or not, go to class again, get dropped off at the bus stop again, walk home while talking with friends, get home and finally, lay in my bed. My life is pretty easy but every time I touch t... » Continue Reading
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