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NIKKONIKKONIKKO!!!
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NIKKONIKKONIKKO!!!'s Blog Entries
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Worth
Category: Life
I am deeply aware of my worth. No matter what favors I do or how much I try I always know that I won't be rewarded or thanked because that's just who I am. So now I live accordingly to my worth, nothing that I say matters, nothing that I do matters and all my trying is utterly futile for I am nothing and this world doesn't want me in it. I don't try anymore. » Continue Reading
Urges and thoughts.
Category: Life
I've been having some pretty nasty thoughts for years and only recently got a break from them because of an hospital admission and pills but I think the pills aren't working anymore. I think it might be my fault that they're not working, Everytime I try to talk about what I've been thinking I just can't get a word out. I'm scared of being a further burden if I speak up again, I shouldn't be compla... » Continue Reading
Thinking
Category: Life
I've been thinking about my birthday, it was great honestly. No parties, no pity, i was peaceful. Definitely less sad than any other one, I rather be alone than ignored. » Continue Reading
Playtime
Category: Friends
I invited a couple of people to play a game together, everybody else is playing and I got left out for being too late. Fun times, I'll probably take a nap since I'm free for at least 3 more hours. » Continue Reading
Session
Category: Life
Yesterday I went to an appointment, I had been preparing myself all day and night to try and talk but I couldn't, I teared up at the mere mention of actually talking about my feelings. I need something to fix me, but I fail everytime. » Continue Reading
Birthday
Category: Life
It's my birthday today, I was hoping id "accidentally" oversleep and missed school but that wasn't the case. I forgot it was my birthday until I saw the date, I hope nobody else notices, I know they won't. It's raining quite a bit, I got a little wet since my umbrella got stuck on my backpack pocket. » Continue Reading
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Storm
Category: Life
Waiting for the storm to pass in someone else's house is pretty strange, i don't really like it here. I'll probably be home in two days because of this storm, so frustrating. My hair has grown a bit, I don't really like it so I'll probably get a haircut or grow a mustache to pair with it » Continue Reading
— 1 Comment— 2 Kudos
I feel normal again.
Category: Life
The past few days have been fine, the pills started taking effect around the first week of taking them. I feel okay. My impulses are nowhere to be seen other than eating like a pig, those pesky thoughts of dying are gone too for the most part, this week has been good. School was supposed to start tomorrow but ther » Continue Reading
Entry update.
Category: Life
My previous entries didn't have drawings so I added some to try and lessen how serious they come off as. I will probably keep updating entries whenever I find they don't have a drawing. » Continue Reading
Assumptions.
Category: Life
Ive always hated how people make assumptions about me, it makes me so angry that i just explode. It just feels so demeaning. Maybe I'm just overreacting, maybe I did deserve all those punishments and batterings, maybe I am a spoiled and attention seeking, rotten, child. » Continue Reading