I feel normal again.

The past few days have been fine, the pills started taking effect around the first week of taking them. 

I feel okay. My impulses are nowhere to be seen other than eating like a pig, those pesky thoughts of dying are gone too for the most part, this week has been good.

School was supposed to start tomorrow but there's a storm coming, we bought some food just in case the house floods or the power goes out. If it does then it'll probably be for a few days because of the storm, I hope hikiko reads this just in case I don't respond.

I sometimes feel guilty about ghosting people, sometimes I go through these periods where I just shut everything off for a few weeks, I just feel so tired and telling people feels like a waste of time.

One day I'll delete everything, every account, every email, everything. But that will only happen if I end up happy, if not then it'll be the other way around.

I hope I'll be happy in the future, I really want a mustache, and tattoos. I really like mustaches but I worry I'll end up looking like one of my Dad's, like that drunk. I wonder if he's dead yet, haven't seen him in years. After the trial I did. See him, mama was giving him clothes and shoes, he didn't remember me.

Also I've been showering more often I think? It's not much but it's something, "a step for the better" or something like that. But I've also been washing my hair without untangling it, it's a little matted and curly hair isn't easy to work with. I'll probably try to untangle it this week, going to use my fingers first to separate it then I'm just going to brush it with horse conditioner (yes, horse.)

I feel good.