i want to take a chance on myself. for real this time. even through all my doubting, i haven’t quit my job yet. surprisingly. but i feel stumped creatively. i found this book called the artist’s way. i want to read it. and i want to finish it. i haven’t finished a book in a while. at most i can stomach manga but again i haven’t finished anything there yet either. i play a lot of games but i don’t ... » Continue Reading
a long time ago, i wanted to be a rock star. it makes me want to tear up thinking about it. i wanted to be in the spotlight. but i didn’t have the rest of the group i needed. i wanted a band. i wanted people to support my voice with their sound. but i haven’t found those people yet. i feel like i have it all right here but i can’t let it out because i don’t have the backup. when i started this job... » Continue Reading
i have that billie eilish song stuck in my head. all the enjoyment, when did it end? lately i feel myself fighting to feel something, anything that isn’t me wanting to not exist. i want to feel alive. i don’t have energy these days to really do anything. i’m trying something new with my job, something i’ve never done before. i’ve always been on the inside working on things. never been on the outsi... » Continue Reading