its been six days. six whole days, since he unadded me. its been seven days. seven whole days, since he turned me down. i was never into romance or anything of that sort. but until i first spoke to him, i realised, hey, maybe this stuff isnt bad at all. we've never met, we've never called. so i feel so stupid for letting this guy drive me crazy. i can't believe i cry over this guy. meanwhile, he i... » Continue Reading
i can feel that im falling into another depressive state. it's worse than before. i despise myself. there's so much more burden. this is why i feared to be 16. i dont get to be myself, it's suffocating me. i can barely do what i like. i can barely express myself. "no one will know how you feel unless you speak up." if that's the case then no. no, i dont want to do it. "all you ever say is no.." w... » Continue Reading
a few nights ago was the first time i had a reasonably vivid dream in these last few months. it was macabre. i was in my backyard, except, there was a sand pit. i unearthed many human bones and picked up a right hand. then i had seemed to be asking dennis nilsen about it, i can only recall him mentioning cranley gardens. to my awoken self, i am impressed at how powerful ur subconscious can be. ive... » Continue Reading