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Ash✩
"drifting into the world of music"
i love cats
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Ash✩'s Blog Entries
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the ringing in my ears
Category: Life
my mind goes blank. i hear ringing in my ears. everything is too loud. i need to get out, i cant stand anyone. not even my own mother anymore. i run quickly to the bathroom, i start sobbing in the shower. everything comes crashing down. why am i crying? crying isnt cool. i dont need to cry. but everything hurts, my arm from being pulled. my heart is beating too fast, boom. boom. boom. what just ha... » Continue Reading
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what went wrong?
Category: Life
the inside of my heart feels heavy as if a brick is tied to a rope weighing it down. whenever i breathe in and out it feels as if its under water, compressing it down. my head feels light. but not a good light. my hands feel cold, numb. the tip of my fingers tingle a bit. it doesnt feel normal. i can feel my heart beating through my chest. boom. boom. boom. faster than usual. like its racing itsel... » Continue Reading
late at night
Category: Life
feeling the ringing through my ears when i drown out everybody makes me feel so far away. like im not there. i just want to blast music in my ears and walk away, from everything, from everyone. just.. to go away? it feels good, and it feels disgusting at the same time. how can i explain my feelings in this horrible and beautiful word? i cant. my mind goes everywhere at night, when im alone. when ... » Continue Reading
whats happening?
Category: Life
time goes by fast. it is its own concept. that no one can comprehend. i hate it. i wish i could rewind it, taking me back to simpler times. or back to a certain date. when my life was full of joy. i sometimes still am. but mostly im just, here..? where is the word to describe it? why do i feel so lonely in this world where i have people right by my side? is it something have to do with me? am i th... » Continue Reading
drifting away
Category: Life
i feel so numb at times. where i dont feel anything at all. or is it because i dont want to feel anything at all? these emotions, these feelings, they make my mind go crazy. why do i depend on these things when its making everything worse? i just want to drift away into the wind. i want to be at peace. i want to be happy, i really really do. i want to lay down. in the middle of the woods. alone. ... » Continue Reading