every year, my birthday feels less and less like one. Today, i turned 18. soon, i will be moving out, and to the west coast. ive been feeling happier lately. when i listen to music, it makes me joyful. im back to reading books on my bed, with my legs in the air. ive gone back to hanging upside down, off the bed, listening to music or podcasts. ive gone back to ive gone back to being a child. And... » Continue Reading
its been 3 years since i have been excited to see someone, someone who can make my heart race just from their existence. obviously, i am happy to see my friends. but its lonely, not having anyone who can make my heart race just from a conversation. it would be nice to fall in love, someday. » Continue Reading
I have been too busy to write lately, i am so sorry! its nearing the end of school for me, and theres plenty of excitement. most the time, i am too tired after doing homework to write more. however, lately ive been working on a movie script. im not sure exactly what job to do in the future. maybe ill become a scriptwriter, or a director. who knows what the future holds. » Continue Reading
why do people act so immature? they act as if they have a superiority complex, as if theyre better than everyone, just because they get praised a little on the internet. i hope they learn they are next to nothing. the jokes they make are always the worst, they associate spam text and random with funny, but its not. i hope they learn their place in the world soon. online, they think they can act li... » Continue Reading
tonight, i went out with friends. we got ice cream, and sat in the bed of a trunk, and just talked. i had to go home after that, and it was lonely. i wish i had been able to stay longer. i wouldve liked to be a passenger in someones car, with an open sunroof, and i wouldve liked to stick my head out of the roof until my nose turned red from the cold wind. i want to feel my hair flying back, to fee... » Continue Reading
you know how when its storming, and just pouring really hard to the point the streets flood because the gutters cant keep up? sometimes, i wish i could just lay in that running water. it moves so fast, the flood, going downhill as fast as possible. being able to lay down in that rushing river, as more rain falls on you, seems like a nice break. i just wish there wasnt so much dirt and trash. » Continue Reading
i like writing. i like being able to write something that conveys beauty without actually seeing it, i love being able to get an incredible feeling from simple words. sometimes, though, its so difficult to write down what you mean. sometimes, there aren't any right words to describe how beautiful something is, how how warm a person makes you feel. in these times, i like to write poetry. its much e... » Continue Reading
the temperature erratically rises slowly, my fan spins smoke fills my room blown around by the wind infiltrating through a window. My bed becomes a golden desert, as the sun lowers below the school streaking the sky with pinks and reds. My posters seem brighter and my breath becomes languid as summer seeps into my body and lightens me whole. » Continue Reading
sometimes he makes me so infuriated. i say im scared. he says it wont happen. he says to think about it rationally, how theyre a vocal minority, how the riots would prevent them from doing this. he refuses to let me be scared. he refuses to understand WHY im scared. once, i would like him to let me be scared, to comfort me, to say hes sorry. my blood boils and i want to yell at him, want to insult... » Continue Reading
the pounding in my chest has become so frighteningly familiar. even if my heart doesnt beat loudly, i am still aware of its intensity. rather, i am aware of the intensity of my overall emotions. i can feel so strongly to the point it fills every crevice of my body, and pumps beside my blood through my veins. it isnt scary, though. i love this intensity, and i crave its feeling for every experience... » Continue Reading