you came uninvited with promises of fire and flesh and left nothing but memories i can't remember wanting i gave you room thinking you were the answer to a question i hadn't yet learned to ask but you made your home in places i didn't offer left fingerprints on the walls and dirt on the floors i scrubbed myself clean of every touch every taste unt » Continue Reading
is it selfish to want to be celebrated and to not want to be the emotional sensitive one all of the time? what if i just want a break from holding everyone's emotions so close to my chest and protecting them? empathy is supposed to be a good trait but it's one of the most damaging things i do to myself, by having it. but it's toxic to not hold space for someone that cares about you when they're h... » Continue Reading
i'm not sure why i struggle so much to understand social cues and norms, or how to function as a basic human being. i can't have a simple conversation with someone about boundaries without struggling, and i can't comprehend rules of relationships because they have never been explicitly written out or verified for me. i think that's why i get so anxious sometimes; everyone has their own version of ... » Continue Reading
fear seems to run my life lately. - i won't be healed fast enough for them - i am undeserving of love and respect - my ideas and my thoughts don't make sense - i can't do it - i'm not good enough i'm more than aware that my self-love has taken a massive toll since last year. everyone says that awareness is where it starts... but what comes after? how do you fix something like this? i have another... » Continue Reading
and to be honest i'm terrified will i be good enough for you or will i take too much time healing? my damage is taking too long to repair but rushing it could damage me more i don't want to expose you to that the situation i'm in is difficult could you live with that for a while? i wouldn't want to let you suffer. it's been so long since i've let someone into my world » Continue Reading
i’m comparing a lot these days. it’s not like i mean to, it just happens. i count the times you would have done something with me or for me, verses what actually happens with the people i’m around. i recounted how you took interest in my interests and willingly tried things that i liked, and i appreciated that i was thinking about how you prioritized me in certain aspects and made sure i was take... » Continue Reading
okay, i just wrote one of my first silly blogs in a while so now we gotta balance it out with some mental health. so i don't lose my reputation. boundaries i've created to maintain a healthier state of mind are ______. during my process of self-healing, i've tried to work on creating boundaries and asking others to do the same with me, as it helps me understand my expectations and needs, as well... » Continue Reading
i've been collecting littlest pet shops. sound dumb? i don't care. let me re-experience my childhood in a way that's in my control and healthy for me. i've been trying to get all of the gen 7 ones for a while now, but wow is collecting expensive. and then getting repeat ones makes me feel ughhhh. i don't even know what i'm going to do with them, maybe i'll display them or something? i'm going to p... » Continue Reading
i thought i would be encouraged to get better and be better. but whenever i’m in this mindset thinking about you, i feel like i don’t deserve to be better. that it would just be better off if i was a temporary person in everyone’s life because of how i make people feel. - guess i wasn’t out of thoughts for this round of writing » Continue Reading