The Most Tender Place Is Under My Chin I wish I could say interesting things have happened these last few weeks, but strangely enough, I’ve been left alone. I gave myself razor burn a few times — too fastidious about my patchy stubble, too focused on trying to sharpen something that’s still coming in. I started using EndNote again, annotating each article as if it were a clergyman’s copy of the Bi... » Continue Reading
Man oh man. If I ever have to see those beastly caterpillars again - all grotesque and lime green and jittery - I swear I will plant so many garlic bulbs that they suffocate from the smell. It is my one-month anniversary of my herb garden (sage, Italian basil, parsley, red basil, rocket) and my sage and Italian basil have been destroyed. Eaten. Devoured without any second thought. And not even by ... » Continue Reading
It feels profoundly illegal and controversial to take an evening walk without a phone, water bottle, or mp3 player. The only thing on my person was my house keys, which jingled and jangled awkwardly as I walked past the population of my neighbourhood: old ladies with bad hips, middle-aged men talking loudly on the phone, yapping puppies finding a nice area of green to piss on. And I sat down on th... » Continue Reading
Awkward. I ended up rejecting the position after all, so no induction for me, and now I have Friday free to play around on Jamovi and study really hard for my stats quiz. Why did I do that? Well, the police clearance I applied for is taking forever, and I will probably hear back from them in a few weeks, which means I don't think I was eligible to sign a contract anyway. That aside, a few more job... » Continue Reading
I'm here, and probably will be here a lot more often, while I figure things out. It is a familiar refuge. So right now I'm a little stressed because I got accepted for a job, but it doesn't seem like anything to do with the job is going too well. I have to go to this mental health training course, and was apparently 'enrolled', but there is no way for me to log into the portal, and nobody is resp... » Continue Reading
Sometimes during the long-winded sections of my lectures, I open up Chess.com (while aware of all the judgemental eyes behind me) and complete a blitz while half-listening to the lecturer drone on about alpha, beta, theta, eta. Sometimes you will be halfway through a game and realize that you've caught a piece (maybe a knight, a bishop) in a rather compromising position - but you cannot help but f... » Continue Reading
It is Monday night and I am having Taco Tuesday. Fortunately this doesn't mean I have shifted timelines at all, and means I won't necessarily miss my very important meeting tomorrow. Which I continue to worry about - how on Earth am I meant to know what a moderation analysis is - though I know, for a fact, my supervisor will clarify this painlessly and easily. On the menu, I have some cooked lean ... » Continue Reading
Foreword: As I'm writing this I'm experiencing one of the worst stomachaches and body aches of my life. Coincidentally, I had about 4 shots of coffee today, which burrowed a pit so deep in my stomach that I couldn't tell whether I was having an anxiety attack or whether I was just experiencing Digestion+ (Painful Edition). Maybe it was both. After a long car ride yesterday, I had the chance to ven... » Continue Reading
OGLE-TR-56 is a solitary G-type star located in the constellation Sagittarius, notable for hosting one of the first detected exoplanets, OGLE-TR-56b, in a remote and isolated region of space. The Last Night in Bedroom X I call the bedroom my "high school bedroom" because I moved in just as I started studying at my humble little performing arts college. I had survived several years in the dense and... » Continue Reading
I feel like I have been putting this entry off for a long time. October ended abruptly, mentally revising psychology notes at the back of an unfamiliar vehicle, feeling cat scratches chewing into the flesh of my arm, stripes painted precisely in the pocket of a wall, stubble coarse across my tired face. The minute I did end up walking into university for one of my finals, there was a gross film of... » Continue Reading
First, a meditation on codependency: You never really expect to find yourself hunched over on a bathroom floor, still half-wearing a tweed suit, now coiled around your neck and throat, phone in hand, with vomit prodding at the base of your tongue. You never really thought that things would look like this. There comes a point in your life when you need to admit that if you never loved somebody prop... » Continue Reading
Act 1: How I feel about dating apps Just finished completing a cardinal sin - arranging a date with a stranger only to cancel it. We were meant to go to the museum, we were meant to get lunch, but I had a sinking feeling that I wouldn't really be looking at him, not really. I would be trying to turn a man into an escape route, I would be revving an old car down a familiar highway, to the expense o... » Continue Reading
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