♡☆Cyanea's Mania☆♡

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"☆°Exhausted°☆"

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♡☆Cyanea's Mania☆♡'s Blog Entries

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1 Comment— 5 Kudos

This won't reach many but you have to know

Category: Life

Don't chase love. Don't force it. I found my childhood diary today and read a few pages. I was a 9 year old girl, talking about how it would be really surprising and amazing for a girl like me to be loved. I talked about feeling worthless and unable to be loved. I was 9, I shouldn't have had a problem like this. I was lovable. No » Continue Reading

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3 Comments— 1 Kudos

Gibt es jemand wer Deutsch sprechen kann?

Category: Life

Ich muss mein Deutsch verbessern und ich möchte Freunden die Deutsch sprechen kennenlernen! Bitte schreib mir :') » Continue Reading

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Bursting Your Bubble

Category: Life

Life won't treat you as kindly as your little bubble does. People won't put a trigger warning before talking of any minor inconvenience or issues just to make sure you won't be impacted by it, as long as it's not common heavily traumatising events or visuals that actually trigger a physical seizure. While it's not okay to be constantly exposed to heavy issues, staying away from them just keeps you... » Continue Reading

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1 Comment— 5 Kudos

For The Longest Time, I Have Lied to Myself.

Category: Life

It took me a while to accept being a girl of blues. It's within my soul and there's no point of denying it. It fits my skin, it fits my emotions. Even when I am happy I will always have the slight hue of sadness existing inside me. It will always be there, sometimes I will be able to control it but sometimes surpressing won't work anymore and I will overflow. I feel, I was born to feel. I was born... » Continue Reading

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Being a lover girl is so hard its my heartless sl-t era

Category: Life

And by being a sl-t I literally mean self isolating and focusing on academy and myself » Continue Reading

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— 2 Kudos

Bras

Category: Life

Its like bras 🌸💖🥰💅🏻 but its also bras 🤢🤢🤮🤮😡😡 you know what i mean? » Continue Reading

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1 Comment— 4 Kudos

The absurd standarts the p0rn industry has enforced on women

Category: Life

I have a trans (male to female) friend who will have a gender affirmation surgery in winter and today she was talking about the risks to us because we were curious and one of her biggest fears was having a "non aesthetic looking v@gina" so she showed us one of the post operation pictures that she found which was done by the doctor she is going to. She thought all of them were not pleasing in looks... » Continue Reading

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Why are the 15 yo's fighting here

Category: Life

Its so interesting to me that a 15 year old just creates this whole chaos and mess and apparently they have an army of other children bullying and threatening others, we shouldve left drama behind at the tati vs james charles thing like wtf yall should just get therapy and some internet restriction and go to school or smth  » Continue Reading

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Why can't I love properly

Category: Life

Is it actually natural that I hate someone so much for loving them just as much? I wanna hug them until a piece of them becomes mine but I also want to destroy them to bits. Is there a thing behind this or am I just thinking of something that isn't even that deep and in fact pretty normal? I just don't think I can deal with such emotions with the required maturity and calmness. Now that I think of... » Continue Reading

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Guys that think they can make music

Category: Life

There's this stoner that I chitchatted with and he sent me his Spotify and asked for my opinion on his music so I listened to a few. I told him that rapping with a monotone voice is something that I like but the production should be richer and this boy blocks me?? You ask for criticism and you can't take it? And he is a Buddhist too like be ffr?? This boy took FL Studio's ready to use beats, added... » Continue Reading

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1 Comment— 3 Kudos

Self Diagnosed Kids

Category: Life

The amount of self diagnosing here is sooo craaaazy to me, you don't have to have a personality disorder to be interesting, plus for many disorders psychiatrists usually wait until the person is 18 to diagnose properly, it doesn't matter if you have the signs before that age or not. Its soooo pathetic, do better.  Oh also, disorders dont justify your shitty behaviours, if you are actually diagnose... » Continue Reading

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Jellyfish

Category: Pets and Animals

As much as I love the appearance and the anatomy of jellyfish and find them fascinating, I hate being in the same water with them. The ones where I swim can sting really badly (though they are not poisonous, thank god) and it's just annoying overall. Once you see one, even if you dodge it your whole whim to swim is gone. I even fear them I think. When I was 9, one stung my chest and one literally ... » Continue Reading

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