xX Killjoy Kai Xx

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"is poetry out of style? "

18, usa, they/them

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Mood: oh god do i even know


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xX Killjoy Kai Xx's Blog Entries

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— 1 Kudos

the first regret for me was you

Category: Writing and Poetry

sticky hands and shattered plates signaled the end. this hurts us both, i'm sure. tell me, elizabeth, when you look in the mirror, am i what you see? or is that just me? violets bloom in the sunshine, but we were never the ones to inhabit reality. vision fades when you're always lit up, flashing and static and television noise. it's almost funny, the names we gave ourselves. soft curls and warm bo... » Continue Reading

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— 4 Kudos

on overdoses and bowling-alley blowies

Category: Writing and Poetry

a sea of asphalt, alike yet different. the boys whove escaped time and the girls trapped within it, the inbetween forever turning. we take pills to get high and take pills to crash, take pills to make believe or get real. estrogen in overdrive, testosterone wedding. tell me, when you take the pieces and put them together, will we ever fit? or will my likeness wash away in the storm drains while yo... » Continue Reading

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— 6 Kudos

soap / RevengeParty

Category: Writing and Poetry

bruises on her thighs glisten in the wet and warm. (rose or strawberry?) is loveliest of them all. she dresses herself in heartbreak and blood clots, in all the colors of desire. chemistry clocking overtime, maybe bleach will make her clean. stop the clock on age, because wrinkles are ugliness, says the girl. if i could be frozen in youth, i would be beautiful forever- canonize me and make me holy... » Continue Reading

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— 4 Kudos

i'm a canary, you're the coal mine.

Category: Writing and Poetry

war is the machine that keeps on breathing. feed it coal, feed it iron, feed it blood and watch it spit out pain. the gears grind day in and day out, cartilage as oil and screaming with rust. this isnt sustainable, none of this is sustainable! but nobody hears me, theyre all addicted to the outrage. they breathe it in and blacken their lungs and choke on their own eyes, because seeing isnt believi... » Continue Reading

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1 Comment— 22 Kudos

blood on my hands

Category: Writing and Poetry

father, forgive me, for i am an artist. the blood on my hands is made of red paint and the knives were all drawn in HB graphite pencil. allow me to lay my arms bare and toil for the ink in my skin, repent for all i have created. anti-matter consumes me. were, would, was. my crime is in the form of a novel, my punishment CAPITAL. quiet- theyll hear you. theyll tear you to shreds. dont look now, jus... » Continue Reading

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— 2 Kudos

sunday morning battlefield (or, all things holy)

Category: Writing and Poetry

it isnt about who wins so much as its about the most blood shed, leave the field a bloody mess, what color was the grass again? pray to save the children you dash across the rocks, sing another psalm because your god wont save you. your god who made leeches, and tapeworms, and flies and rats; are they not so much his children as you are? love is faith, LOVE IS GOD when god is fake and love is the ... » Continue Reading

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memories of a past life II

Category: Writing and Poetry

the smell of cigarettes on your sheets and coffee in the morning after. neon lights and flashing signs, skeeball and smoke. ignore her, my love. she can blow (blue/blew) up my phone all she wants- its cold out, and im so warm, arent i? the cold moisture of your skin, you make me sick- its why i love you. if it wasnt over so early i might miss you more now years later. i might have stared out your ... » Continue Reading

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— 8 Kudos

role call

Category: Writing and Poetry

secrets taste better on your tongue than mine. exchanging fluids- lets share deformities, not passing glances and passed notes or the passenger seat of your moms car. almost acidic, the dna were sharing. am i your last chance or your last regret? we could keep driving, see how tall that cliff on the outskirts of town is. the way i think of you is toxic. youve been there forever- maybe never. 12 wa... » Continue Reading

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— 4 Kudos

summer of hate/loving you

Category: Writing and Poetry

the sopranos love to show off- we always met in the middle, in middle school. you did up your hair when i went down. crossing paths; a black cat and a broken mirror, does an umbrella opened in my back seat count for bad luck? they can hate us all they want, anytime you want. i hated the music until i showed you my world, and now i hear in colors. youre the straight-a to give me a d. i dont know wh... » Continue Reading

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— 8 Kudos

ringringringringring (call denied)

Category: Writing and Poetry

imprints on the backs of your hands and bruises you gave yourself. lay waste to the evidence in 5 seconds flat on your back. the desire of being loved by the world that loved you, until you grew up- maybe it didnt back then, either. "because i said so" means more than reasons when youre on a trip to electracity and the powers gone out. security systems never kept you safe, burglars are so scary wh... » Continue Reading

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2 Comments— 8 Kudos

CATEGORY 5 GERARD WAY IMAGE [SMEXEH ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!]

Category: Movies, TV, Celebrities

TUMMY ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HES SO FUGGIN HAWWWWT I CANT I NEED SOMEONE TO FAN ME !!!!!!!!!!!!! NOSEBLEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! » Continue Reading

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— 2 Kudos

red and blue and green and red and blue and green and red and blue and green

Category: Writing and Poetry

bright and flashy. pay attention to this, dont let your eyes look away. theyre dancing, look, theyre playing, theyre singing, theyre killing each other and fucking in the blood a thousand ways. see, isnt this fun? dont you love to watch? good, i wont give you the time of day. just watch the pendulum back and forth. how long has it been? 15 years? how time flies when youre having fun, i know you di... » Continue Reading

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