"scrubbing vomit from my carpet"
they/them ★ 20
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Category: Writing and Poetry
years in hell began to unravel in my hands when we met... you goddamned angel. suddenly the autumn stars over kelburn ache like true love gone sour [heaven knows i've seen it]. a sky sick with warps in time and space. get me out of this woodsmoke suburb where friends become piles of ash. the city is sea breeze bittersweet. it's opium for growing pains. you've reminded me of the vision i religiou... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
i'll admit, i lie when i don't know how to explain. none of this was ever as simple as self disgust. wanting to be someone else will only ever have you sobbing up at the skyline for so long. i don’t hate myself. i know generally, conceptually, as a person i'm alright. it’s just that my reflection has always looked back at me all mixed-up and dysphoric and wrong. the best option these days is to dr... » Continue Reading
— 4 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
no doubt i look worse than a demolition site. you're giving tradie on the street corner, big amphetamine eyes with sunken sockets. both fidgeting. both falling apart. sundays are for waking asphyxiated. cracked out apartments and cracked out sinuses. you should really find a new place. i should stop crashing here so often. saturdays are reckless and these mornings are our poetic justice. i've alwa... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
i am not ritalin-induced breakdown i am 100% truly myself, myselves, someone, somewhere, somewhat i will not keep repeating the same shit until i die i have a reason to be in this plane of existence i am not desperate to know it i'm giving post-suicide hotline rising-from-the-ashes realness i can make it alone YES to affirm » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
he's pointing out headstones just ahead of us. pedal to the metal. love me in transience. some day soon i'll let you down easy and let you keep the polaroids. is that okay? are we on the same page? he's getting all frantic. "i don't know how we got here. how did we get here?" i wonder the same thing every day. sure, he'll remember the month he got a taste of madness, but the same cogs will turn w... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
you are nothing. you are nobody. you are nowhere. » Continue Reading
— 7 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
this year so far i've been preoccupied with the perfect words. words i'm not ready to write yet, i can't fathom the consequences. february chewed me up and spat me out onto the sidewalk in the suburbs and screamed ANYWHERE FROM HERE. i've slept on every couch south of northland. there was a moment in there where i wasn't sure who i was. your soul leaves your body in an apartment living room and y... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
my friends will see the seams where i've stitched myself back up and that's fine [the more you say it the more you'll believe it] but cheers and claps have been slowly deafening me while some irrational part of me was convinced that tinnitus is a myth nobody holds me up to the stars by the throat anymore i do that to myself is it human nature to want happiness but need destruction, or was i alone ... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
wellington harbour is where i'll do it watch the last inches of my body as they're carted away to rest on the sea floor even the most degrading of passings here would be more dignified than a romantic death where i'm from i raise a glass to final nights on earth and nobody hears and no drinks are passed my way and i catch the late bus to wellington harbour » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
i spend late spring with angels stripped of halos you pull me under the headstone of some long-dead nun, you know the world depends on it this shift in perception does not drive me insane i won't become harrison-pilled we are grounded by each other's support i am not unstable baby i will not make it through alone YES to affirm » Continue Reading
— 4 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
would you have been so cynical if you knew life could contain this? surrounded by beautiful people and their beautiful hedonism experiencing romance in full cycle every single night fading in and out of consciousness on your friend's couch and thinking "this is living and this is loving and this is madness and this is destroying my insides and i adore it" » Continue Reading
— 3 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
everyone's miserable in august we spend sleepless nights searching clawing at the possibility of a collective understanding as to why winter brings this sense of togetherness when the sun sets and the colour is stripped away we look to the lights and to each other and » Continue Reading
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