i bet god has imposter syndrome too

my friends will see the seams where i've stitched myself back up

and that's fine [the more you say it the more you'll believe it]

but cheers and claps have been slowly deafening me

while some irrational part of me was convinced that tinnitus is a myth

nobody holds me up to the stars by the throat anymore

i do that to myself

is it human nature to want happiness but need destruction,

or was i alone built for this kind of self sabotage?

i want to be nailed to this cross, for christ's sake

my arms are so tired

from holding myself to the standard of a saint

i need to be buried

i don't have two more miracles left in me.

xoxo 4thdimension

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