upswing

you are nothing. you are nobody. you are nowhere.

open your curtains for the first time in weeks.

you've been drowning for so long they've given up on fishing you out. 

today you finally claw at the riverbank. something deep within you built a filter in your skull. 

keep that horrible buzzing from ever shutting up, and god forbid love makes its way in.

sunlight sears newly awakened eyes. 

you've grown used to beige, 

to dull and stale, 

but the clouds have cleared. 

laughter is no longer filtered out by the dreaded hum. the world isn't such a heavy weight to carry.

you are something. you are somebody. you are somewhere.

in the darker hours, LEDs become your sunlight. absorbing neons. cracking cans. more laughter. somewhere in the night you'll be the centre of attention. hold out for that moment. cling onto another drink for dear life and whisper something risky to somebody you hope to never see again. they're all robots programmed to revolve around you like the sun that scorched your corneas just days ago. fill your sinuses with crystals and for god's sake sleep can wait. you look in the mirror and see something beautiful. you want to destroy it.

you are everything. you are everybody. you are everywhere.

open your curtains, it's light out again.

the party's over and look what you've done. 

the buzzing is back, louder than friendly conversation, louder than drum and bass. wearing away at your soul like a dentist's drill, and like a cavity this is all thanks to you.

vomit on the floor and blood on your hands.

you're on your own to clean this mess.

you are nothing. you are nobody. you are nowhere.