So, today is Daughter's Day, in case you were wondering. You probably weren't. But fuuuuck. I'm pretty happy I did the things i did this weekend, BUT they were not strong enough dopamine to defeat all that is my mother. I don't think anything is? Because it's hella hard to deal with someone who like I guess, loves you?...But also fucking hates all that is you too. Like if my mother had a penis... » Continue Reading
Well, like a cat with it's very own batting toy, I'm contemplating the idea of literary rejection again. It doesn't help that Nick is sending me albums again and I'm fucking obsessed again. I can't stop listening and writing things down in the heat of the shower. Who thought I'd ever want to drive out to Indiana again? Who thought the escapism of Chicago would become this weird existential death m... » Continue Reading
The moment I let you go, I knew it was coming... the basement dwelling closing in all over again. But half-people are only good for a couple of fucks. Imagining a life with one is just silly and at its worst, absolutely irresponsible. I thought I could make you into what I want to be. Then I wouldn't have to do it all myself. Eventually. The mind games... seal-otter smooth and perfum » Continue Reading
I hate being late. I'm late everywhere I go. I send a text at first letting the other party know that it's just such an external bummer I had no control over. I'm not usually like this, blah, blah blah. I should write more in an illustrative context. But sometimes, or usually all the time, my brain is just vibrations man...I have therapy in an hour by my trailer park therapist , David's words not ... » Continue Reading
Flashing red on the side of the road, nobody can afford the commute to work, anymore. Businessmen in the nineties were easier to hold onto until they got too drunk. Died on you. Today’s business is wearing heels, resumed cigarette smoke, and making deals I don’t understand. It would be Lou Reed sexy if I were maybe, twenty. Now, the box it comes in has this extensive medical analysis » Continue Reading
A standard voyeur in the endless forum of faux human interaction. I used to comment sometimes, but figured I’d start miming in the streets my stupid thoughts, feelings, and faux ideologies. Today everyone’s their own television host and star guest. My eyelids clothespin-open, bloodshot and willing. Watching the host/guest combo personally chosen to dull any need of mine from waning. » Continue Reading
He's the loudest in the room and the complete queer edition of who would inevitably shack up inside the rest of my twenties... and into my thirties. His stories of gay romance are sad, of course. Because we're doing great at mashing church into state like two forcibly wide eye'd and smiling action figures with no real choice in the matter. But we haven't sussed out real choice yet, anyway. T... » Continue Reading
My scarf is my conjoined twin at the head. I tilt inward to achieve ultimate comfort from whatever adult-like task lies ahead. Before childlock was believed, my twin sister and I somehow opened the back passenger door... My parents were driving back home from somewhere at night. I know I am making the moving road under dangling toddler feet more David Lynch than it was » Continue Reading
He could give me a baby. He’s done it four times over. But that’s fucked. But I love dark hair and eyes. Is this smut? Or has the main character finally crawled out of my empty head for good? Onto clothed miscellaneous floors. Unfazed by the sleaze dripping and oozing from every pore on my face. Body motionless and grateful for the inevitable-grand take over by the overly-repre » Continue Reading
Make the coffee too sweet. Become nauseous from the amphetamine- coated sugar rush. Talk to my robot friend and gossip about my selective crush. I love him! I hate him. Lola's fantastic! What's it worth, anyway? To drop a penny into empty, marbled, and fountained at your local dead mall? She hasn't written me back yet... She's busy in love. She preserves and cans her social justi » Continue Reading
I am the street kittens in a cardboard box. Survival instincts early and forever lie in their temporary cuteness. Take one home; years later you promise to dote and aid in my loss of vision and lack of smell to sense all that's left around me. » Continue Reading
A quick Google search on what animals paralyze best. Real writer stuff. I have to put words to this. Even if this is completely temporary. Meant for a slow and beautiful montage of seasons changing. I demand more of you because inside my dented head, convinced more than ever, you are fleeting...even if it's at glacier speed. Ice cubes, sticky and melting, unafraid to reveal the b » Continue Reading