Middle Child

Initial introductions claim "middle child energy"

Insisting to all of them I still need a mother 

and a fresh made dinner when I return home

from travels of indecency.

If my father was not unalive 

he would not find me cute as he did 

on VHS tape.

Deadpan faces I made into the camera;

clueless to what's to come.

A man with headgear filming you 

feels so quaint now.

I'm tired.

I miss my grandpa.

I miss men being in my life generally.

What is a man, honestly?

The right wing ask what women are constantly?

I feel we haven't investigated Adam fully

and are forever interrogating the alleged fruit snatcher

of a million century. 

I'm tired. 

I miss my mom. 

I miss what it meant to come home to someone 

who had to love you...

even if it was until all legal ties 

were lifted from arbitrary aging.

I hate the word 'arbitrary'.

A film lit teacher from Midwest Hell

accused me of it once 

while pinning for my metrosexual boyfriend.

This is too long. 

And I'm sorry.