They/He/She
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Category: Writing and Poetry
I decided to publish some of my poems on this blog, at least those which are in English. I don't think that they are good, but I wrote a lot of them. Maybe someone will like them. It's mostly modern type of poetry, or that critizited type of 'tiktok poetry' or 'I am 13 and this is deep'. I hear a rhymes where no one does. For me when I put a words and letters in some order I hear music. But for no... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
SORRY FOR ALWAYS SMELLING LIKE A CIGARETTES, THERE IS NOTHINK MORE I WISH THAN TO BE LOVED, SORRY THAT I ALWAYS LOVE YOU ONLY WHEN I AM DRUNK, I WISH TO BE ABLE TO FEEL IN A TIME WHEN I CLEAR MY MIND. SORRY FOR LOVING A VODKA MORE THAN MYSELF, SORRY FOR ALREADY FAILING AT YOUNG AGE, I CAN'T GET UP AS THE GUN'S TO MY HEAD UP, THEY ARRESTED ME FOR NOTHING THAN MY CRIMES. SORRY FOR ALWAYS COMING TO S... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
I fall on my knees begging for solution to the problems of my own making, While I am praying on the cold tiles of bathroom, the priest, Who represents nothing more than my father which messed me and then left, Pours pure vodka, bought on sale, into my open mouth. It tastes weird as the river I almost drowned, As the rust-like essence of a gun, And the pills I swallow every morning to make myself g... » Continue Reading
— 5 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
I dream of alcohol, My father's love and how he treated my mother when I was five, I wish for someone who would protect me, From all the things I've seen. I wish to have a childhood once again, To be loved more this time, To be cared for this time, To be taught how to live by someone other than me. I am longing for a gentle friend, In whose hug I could feel save, Who would listen to my talking wit... » Continue Reading
— 6 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
I descent from both Abel and Cain, I am doomed by God and fate to fail, To suffer and be beaten by hand which held me as I was born, And partly it will be my fault as I have rotten character. My father's side has the mark of sinner written on their face, There is some anger deeply rooted in our hearts, There is such sadness about which no one speaks, And we laugh to the creator's face after sarca... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
A mere number defines my existence, I am nothing outside of my work, But I have never been good enough to win, To make anyone proud of me. I should be always working, To show them reason why I should be fed, To show them reason why I should be seen, they would look away anyway - I am not the number one. Even when I felt like I am trying, They called me lazy good-for-nothing, For always being in ab... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
The autumn smells of failed attempt, As it always does, My body rots on the bare mattress without a bedframe, I was unable to build it - same way as my life. I forgot to count them, As I reached more than my age when I was ten, I am a coward - same as I was back then, And I tend to run away - not solving any problem. The fall is when I lose my mind, The fall tastes of my first cigarette, Broken p... » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
The Love Letter to Ivan Karamzov/The Hate Letter to Myself Your face reminds me so much of my own, Ivan, And your younger brother is like mine, Your last name is my fate, written into yours, "Because I am a Karamazov, because I am my father's son." You hate him too, you wished for his death, And then you acted as if you didn't share same breath, In your worst nightmare you act as him, and when you... » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
I've shattered the mirror of my dreams, Only because I was afraid of fear, I've lost the meaning of life before it even started, I walk the path of loneliness. I choose the road of fearing alone, So no one can say that I am failure, Only my mind, myself - I can know, That I've never tried to be good enough. And the shards of my dreams sound hollow under my fear, Painter, writer, scientist, poet, » Continue Reading
— 2 Kudos
Category: Writing and Poetry
I lost my innocence in the horror of my birth, And I was never enough human to begin with, As I was born with hatred instead of love, I have never been a pure lamb of God. I have killed the child inside of me at the brink of age thirteen, When only one person came to me, I became ad » Continue Reading
Category: Writing and Poetry
If I'd believe in God, I would pray, To one day wake up without a pain, Look at the blue sky, Look at the beautiful garden of Eden, Feeling free from the dead weight of body. How can I make this dream come true? I don't have a belief in God, Who puts people in such misery, Pain, grieve, rotting guts inside of me. » Continue Reading
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