"Thugging it out"
16 y/o misfit stuck in Florida
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Category: Blogging
I finally cleaned up my blog because I've had this account for over a year now but I feel like I've been so on/off active/inactive that I just need a clean slate :') So yeah, I figured I'd do an intro/about me kinda post; I know this stuff is probably already in my profile but having this as my first post helps me feel more organized, so here goes nothing!! :) --- Hi!! My name is Zarya, and I gues... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I had only had the acc for like two weeks but I guess I didn’t realize HOW strict they had gotten on the ed blogs It kinda pisses me off bc without proana communities sooo many people would be in much darker mental spaces than they already are. It’s a community of support for mentally ill people who tend to isolate themselves irl and have nobody to talk to about their disorder It’s fine though I’l... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I’ve never really been one to be very active on social media, but I guess recently I’ve been trying to engage more with the ed community because it’s such an isolating illness. I’m active on a forum, as well as having my own ed tumblr now, and it’s actually getting a shocking amount of engagement. I can tell this isn’t gonna help me recover, but hey, isn’t that why I’m doing this? I feel like I sh... » Continue Reading
Category: Blogging
I was laying in bed for nearly six hours last night, just desperately trying to sleep. I swear I’ve tried everything and NOTHING seems to work. School is starting up again in the middle of next month for me, and I know I’m going to be royally fucked if I can’t fix my sleep schedule. I fall asleep after I would’ve already been awake getting ready during the school year. Even melatonin doesn’t help... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
None of my friends seem to understand that at this current point, I don't want to recover from my ed. They can't make me recover from my ed. The last time I was forced into recovery, it made things 10x worse. I know they just want to help, but I keep trying to make it easier for them my explaining that I'm not ready to recover. I feel terrible about it because they're making my disorder their prob... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
I’m part of a system, and one of the things I (and the other alters) struggle with is dissociative amnesia, where we’ll have gaps in our memory from when another alter is fronting. It’s a really disorienting experience, and sometimes it’s a lot worse than other times. Today, another alter was fronting for several hours at a time, so when I’d come back into front, I’d have gaps in my memory wonderi... » Continue Reading
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Category: Blogging
Having a persistent ED is so wack because it’s so sneaky. Like you’ll recover and you’ll think you’re fine, but a few months later here you are stuck with the same old thoughts and habits you had before. That’s how it is for me, at least. I think this keeps happening because I’ve never recovered for MY OWN sake, it’s always been because someone forced me to. I’m not ready to recover. EDs don’t wor... » Continue Reading
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