My friends don't understand my ed

None of my friends seem to understand that at this current point, I don't want to recover from my ed. They can't make me recover from my ed. The last time I was forced into recovery, it made things 10x worse. I know they just want to help, but I keep trying to make it easier for them my explaining that I'm not ready to recover.

I feel terrible about it because they're making my disorder their problem, which is literally the opposite of what I wanted to happen. I don't even remember telling most of them about my ed in the first place, I think they all just figured it out while we were hanging out or something.

I mean I really do appreciate them for wanting to help me, but I just don't want help. I don't want to recover. I can't yet.