like I've actually been afflicted. hexed by the spirit of a disgraced Harlem Globetrotter or something. every time I cheer at one of these basketball games — and I’ve been to like eight this month because apparently I’m a busy little beaver — I transform instantly i » Continue Reading
so my cheer squad had professional photos taken a few days ago. great. we were told in advance of the date and time. incredible. flawless communication. what could possibly go wrong. Me. Me could. » Continue Reading
so apparently I’ve become that guy. you know the one. the “guy who just knows shit.” like, completely useless shit. knowledge that serves no purpose beyond confusing people and getting me weird looks in class. I was on the trivia team all through high school (don’t laugh), and the number one comment I’d get was "yo why the fuck do you know that good buddy ?" » Continue Reading
happy weenie everyone. hope you were all appropriately spooked, scared, or otherwise disturbed. I had kind of a weird night. a weird weenie, if you will. so originally I was supposed to go out with the gang, right? classic halloween shenanigans. except half of them just evaporated into the ether — like one second they’re in the group chat saying » Continue Reading
okay, so I don't know how to study 0u0 I figure I'll just admit that right out the gate. what can I say I just don't know how. oops !! I have a midterm in roughly 23 days, on the last 4 chapters of my psychology textbook, and like how the hell am I supposed to retain all that ?? it's ludicrous I tell you. /* Your appearance CSS */ body::before { content: ' '; display: block; position: fixed; top:... » Continue Reading
okay so it's not even wednesday but shit has been going DOWN. so here is a comprehensive tier list of recent events from my rapidly deteriorating life. enjoy. starting off strong in S tier: MUFFIN HEIST. so basically the meal hall at my school has a very strict policy about not taking food in or out of the building, like, they make you leave your bags at the front like you’re entering fort knox or... » Continue Reading
I swear I look away for two seconds and my parents are trying to get divorced bro this is getting really annoying. I feel like I'm babysitting two cats in a house full of glass cups and the cats really want to knock them over but they CAN'T if I'm watching, like those ghosts from mario. in this situation the cups would be their marriage lmao I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. In other n... » Continue Reading