I can’t stop spazzing out in front of basketball players and I’m beginning to think I’ve been cursed.

like I've actually been afflicted. hexed by the spirit of a disgraced Harlem Globetrotter or something.

every time I cheer at one of these basketball games — and I’ve been to like eight this month because apparently I’m a busy little beaver — I transform instantly into the resident court jester. the village fool. the wobbling little medieval peasant doing a shaky dance for a handful of magic beans in the square.

So the worst of these incidents happened like mid-last week, (peak midterm crisis brain rot, mind you). Basically, the cheerleaders put our coats in the same place the basketball team has their post-game debrief, and good lord did they lose HARD that day. I’m talking devastating, shin splintering, Disney villain origin story level traumatizing canon event kind of loss bro it was BAD. 

so the lady whos in charge of the cheerleaders was like ‘okay yall we gotta get in and out of that room FAST cause they’re probably in such a terrible mood, and they need their space to mourn, or debrief or kiss or whatever.’

So i was like yeah awesome, amazing, call me lightning mcQueen with how fast I’m gonna go. You probably won’t even see me, I’ll just whizz in and out and you’ll be like ‘oh wow what a weird and unexpected indoor breeze’ but no it was ME.

my flawless stealth operation was, however, brutally murdered when I made one fatal error:

I went through the wrong door.

Now I know what you’re thinking; ‘oh look at this dumbass getting lost in a building bro how many rooms can there be ?? lol stoopid dum idiot hahahahahahahaaaaahhahaahhhhhhha’

BUT NO THAT’S NOT WHAT HAPPENED ANGELA. NOT AT ALL. HARNESS YOUR LISTENING SKILLS, I BESEECH YOU.

there are TWO doors on the far wall. one for spectators, and one for the actual teams and coaches. I should’ve gone through the team door. I SHOULD HAVE. but no. 

I, in my hubris, thought:

“lol what if I used the OTHER ONE for literally no reason ??? sounds sooo fun and smart and awesome for sure.”

I instantly got stuck behind a human traffic jam and made the critical mistake of being a decent person and holding the door for the two people behind me. unfortunately, those two people multiplied into an infinite line of helpless beings who apparently had never once in their lives held a door.

They would simply barrel through with their arms at their sides, or looking down at their phone so their hands weren’t free. Not a SINGLE person decided hey, maybe I can prop the door open a tiny bit as I walk past so this random cheerio doesn’t feel like they have to hold it for five billion years, lest they drop it on someone's face. 

Nope. literally nobody. Not one person.

I was there for like four straight minutes hoping desperately for a gap in the crowd so I could make my escape, but it just didn’t come. finally a gap appears, I break free, sprint upstairs, and immediately realize that all my teammates have vanished. evaporated. raptured. gone like dust in a place where dust isn’t.

I tried to quietly but quickly run into the room, and grab my stuff but someone had MOVED IT so I had to look around in the dark (apparently they were too sad for lights???) I finally find my coat, snatch everything up, and attempt my usual post‑game encouragement except my voice is fried from screaming all day so what comes out is:

 “wOw yOu gUyS Did sOoO gOod hAhAaa… oKaY hAve a goOd niGhT y’all…”

already humiliating. already enough to force me into witness protection.

 but THEN. oh god. THEN.

* insert dramatic music please *

I dropped . my phone. 

And it was sO LOUD. 

obviously that’s not so terrible, but the way I reacted literally keeps me up at night to this day.

I can not stress enough how loudly i SHREIKED. 

For someone down the hall, you could be forgiven for thinking that a banshee had just been pinched with how absolutely bloodcurdling it was.

I did not stay to face the consequences of my actions bro I was OUTTA THERE. I sprinted like my life depended on it. I have no idea what the reaction of everyone else was, cause I was GONE.

Anyway yeah idk if I have some weird basketball related curse, or if I’m just a hopeless spaztastic piece of pom-wielding garbo, and this is the only time I’m noticing it because cheer is the only time I really get to interact with people outside of my studio classes where nobody will talk to me. 

Who knows ??? certainly not I.

Merry November everyone.