I always thought cheating made more sense than actually taking risk and living it. Put the positive affirmations up on the bathroom wall… watch them wilt in steam without ever reading a single phrase. I love you more than you’ll ever allow inside your heart. You were my first girl my safe parts. The moment I showed signs of growing you broke down immediately. I cried for you almost every ... » Continue Reading
When you're the most authentic at the borrowed basement gathering. When his touch feels like your brother's violent temper tantrum because Daddy didn't go to the corner liquor store at all. A phone number assigned and reassigned to the multiple pockets of strangers. I want her to kiss me for 3 seconds just so I can admit to everyone she wanted to kiss me for a » Continue Reading
If killing yourself meant game over or a real restart; my bathtub runneth over and automatic weapon to the heart. I cry because it’s easy. I scream because no one is listening. And I’m fine with it because what is there to say? It’s all been sketched, erased, sketched, ballpoint penned into archives and archives of “good art”. A crumb the bakery divvies to each grubby and mildly infecte... » Continue Reading
Restlessly, endlessly in God's borrowed office swivel chair. Cells eating cells in what is now considered society's trendy curse word. My heart stops for a moment, who says you need a drug of choice? It wakes up my organs to start digesting something with more of a purpose and I'm here. Here for that midnight Monday phone call. Here for you to tell me that ten » Continue Reading
Just like cigarette smoke, blood rushing to your head is still romantic, right? Aimee Mann can play while doing a health sponsored activity, right? Do people really remember hugging their dads? Does “dad” lose all will to mean well when he’s still out terrorizing the townsfolk? Wait, that’s me again. He and I have lived about the same amount lived. Living, living, living, life. I miss t... » Continue Reading
Scroll right through my own beginning. Fall face first into someone else's ending. Pretending can only take me so far. There will be another debate on what it means to live a life shortly. Each greedy hand stuck in an unmarked honey pot. I gave up long ago. Spectator turned specter. The bones in me tremble in premature fear. I want someone new with fresh eyes a » Continue Reading
They liked the idea of you. The object of everyone's affection. The chocolate coated baby-candy-treat. You free bleed into the kitchen sink. The rain pours harder but the music is set at a low level grumble. Take all the cosmetic surgery to avoid aging like the mother that never really wanted you. This place of pop art serenity and bubblegum opium.. » Continue Reading
Body bed imprints of single girlhood but instead of 20 year old bones it’s now 30. The music has transcended to a higher priesthood, it’s all there on your receipt. Youth. naivety coins earned and then exchanged for momentary lapses of stick poke grief and an extended stay at a mattress king terrarium where things don’t always grow as intended. The girl down the street was easier, bree » Continue Reading
Well, I'm pretty fucking tired . So we'll see how cohesive this ends up being? I've posted many 'o bulletin and I'm getting pretty fucking sick of the radio silence from everyone. Either that, or the awkward comment equivalent of passing by a homeless whose finally snapped from all the abuses these brittle systems bring. (Okay, majorly dramatic , I by no means, know what it's like to really be hom... » Continue Reading
Your help: a lot of head shakes and motionless standing in doorways. My screams go into the floorboards. Full body carpet skin rotations. Reverse, reverse! Pull, spin, Bop It! Your words infiltrate the insulation that wasn't installed by a loving mother and son duo together on a cloudy Sunday morning. Instead, a room shoe box glued, taped, and painted by » Continue Reading
Not sure why it feels like a response to an addiction? To restrain from quickly typing in a name to its correlating search engine. A name considered maiden now, I guess. Just an optimal time to live then. Where emotions were felt HARD. Simple things achieved on $5 dollars worth of gas. And I felt it. The temperature on my skin, the salt in my mouth. Waking up next to you » Continue Reading