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tw: mentions of bullying and panic attacks
there are two girl who are bulling me currently, but i'm not sure if there will be more. both used to be my best friends but (obviously) they're not anymore.
i'm more worried about one of the girls who i'll call amy. amy is incredibly manipulative. like i was manipulated by her for so long, until i realized what she was doing. actually i found out from another friend that she was twisting what i had said in an argument. she also happens to be best friends with the creep from this post. amy is also notably homophobic, racist and ableist, so i don't really know what i expected from her.
the second girl who i'll call daisy was the last person i thought would do anything like this. she dyed my hair, and we hung out all the time. we had no problems whatsoever, except that i noted that we had been drifting apart a little.
amy and daisy were part of a mutual friend group. the others in the group aren't the best people either, and they constantly start things with other people and destroy friendships. (i've written about them here).
out of nowhere both of them blocked me and the other girl on all forms of social media. they sent messages to the others about how they didn't like how they start problems, and they were being bitchy and rude and not explaining themselves. i never received an explanation, so i don't know why they blocked me.
i've been completely in the dark for the past few days, and they've made my life hell so far.
they first day after they blocked me, i came to school crying because i was obviously confused and upset.
daisy and i have the same first period, and she walked in late and rolled her eyes at me when she saw me crying. i caught her staring at me the rest of the period. both her are friends with the who sits across from me and i noticed her taking pictures of me. there's no way that she wasn't because i would make eye contact with the camera, and then she would awkwardly pretend to be taking selfies. during passing period i heard amy laughing at something and saying repeatedly to her friends that i was a crybaby.
amy and i have our fourth period together, and i saw her motioning to me as she was talking to the teacher, before she left the class for a 'phone call' and didn't come back for the rest of the class. i don't know if she went to sixth (which we also have together) because i skipped my last two classes and went home.
one of my friends messaged daisy about what they were saying about me because i was so upset and what they were saying was so nasty. i've copied it here :
"u can believe whatever u want about me, because you obviously don't know me, but leave [cmtrygrl] out of it. she did nothing wrong and y'all are fucked up. talkin' shit about her and for what? you make me so fucking angry. stop being bitches and leave her out of this."
that whole situation was last week, and now daisy resorts to talking loudly about it to anyone from our first period that will listen, and she always makes sure i'm listening. i'll catch her and other girls whispering together and looking at me and i just look at them until they stop.
amy on the other hand is telling anyone and everyone who i was decently close with about 'what i've done' or things like that. i've already lost several friends because of this, and i'm about ready to give up on friends entirely at this point. i'm seriously considering dropping any friends that they haven't gotten to and just hanging out by myself next year.
amy's spoken to another teacher about everything, and i'm not sure if the teacher believes her or not, but i avoid that teacher like the plague now.
and one time amy walked into my first period and just sat down next to daisy. the teacher didn't care because we had finished the lesson. they both kept looking at me and i ended up having a small panic attack, so i got up and told the teacher that i was uncomfortable. i was able to leave the class and i spent the rest of the period in another class. that teacher knew of the basis of the situation, and let me sit in the classroom until i felt better (even though it was his free period). i was sitting in the corner and i saw amy and daisy pass by and they both seemed angry. i think the teacher kicked amy out of the class.
the thing is, it's not like i'm doing nasty things back as 'revenge'. i don't tell people the things they do or have done, because i want to be as civil as i can if that makes sense? i don't want to give them more of a reason to do anything and i just want it over with. i've only told three people from school, two because i had a 'melt down' in the hallway after one of amy's nasty comments, and they asked what was wrong. and one girl who knocked on the bathroom stall and asked why i was crying. i didn't even go into full detail, just that amy was being a bitch and i wasn't sure why. and then to the teacher i mentioned earlier (that let me stay in his classroom), but i never told him about the comments, or the glares, or the bullying, just that we weren't friends and i was avoiding them. and now here i guess.
anyway, now i just avoid them as much as i can, by ducking into classrooms when they pass by and things like that. i can't go to the dean, because i know the dean won't do jack shit. and also partly because i know thats what amy wants. she's been to the deans several times before, and she's played the victim plenty of times before. i know, because i watched her do it. and she'd probably get her mom and grandmother and a whole fucking legal team involved because they're all crazy, and i've been threatened with it once before.
i really just try to ignore the glares and comments and the other nasty things they do. i won't say what because i don't like thinking about it.
i don't know what to do about any of this. school lets out on friday, so i'm just trying to hold out until then. hopefully this will all go away over summer but we'll see.
i'll take any advice you're willing to give honestly.
p.s sorry for the spazzy writing, i'm still very upset by this so i can't format this properly.
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