I'M JUST BAD AT PICKING FRIENDS

it feels sort of like a domino effect, where after every friend i lose, another two fall out after. it started with a girl who i'd been best friends with for twelve years, and after i let her go i realized how much of a bad person she was. it's just kept happening from there, where i'll attract a person who seems alright, and then we become really close, until we aren't anymore, and i understand that the whole time they were being manipulative.

now though, i'm friends with a group of maybe seven other people, and they're even worse than before. they live for drama, and actively seek it out. they don't hesitate to let everyone know that they have a problem with someone, and sort of destroy friendships. i think two of them have tried to manipulate and control me in the past, but i'm not sure. either way, i'm tired of all of them dragging me into things, and walking over me, twisting my words, and (indirectly) belittling me, just because i "don't like to stand up for myself"

but i'm scared to lose them as friends, even though i know that by staying their friend i'm making it worse for myself. sometimes i'm so glad that we met, and that we're friends, but other times i'm just sick of it. i know that some of them are the nicest people i've ever been friends with, but i just know that as soon as i even try to end it with one or two of them, i've lost all of them. that's just how they are i guess. and besides they're sort of the only friends i have you know?

why do i keep making friends with the same type of person? am i actually the problem?