⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚part THREE of the school love web im in that makes me want to run a bullet through my head. "૮₍ ˶•⤙•˶ ₎ა

                                   part one: https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1942753

                                 part two:https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1964184

                                part four:https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2006887

                                part five: https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2086834

                                 part six:https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2095596

                           reason I hate love:https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=2042397

               entry about Oscar and his actions: https://blog.spacehey.com/entry?id=1917308

                                    °˖✧◝yoo hoo!!! tw disclaimer incoming!◜✧˖°

                 this blog entry includes some mature topics! such things include the following: 

                                                          ♡ seggs

                                              ♡ me being very judgmental

                                                     ♡ swear words 

                                                    ♡ perverted men

                                                           ♡ ext!

♡ this is part three of  blog series made last month and the month before! I'd recommend you go read part one and two before you read this so you can understand everything in this entry better! links are right above ^_^                             

                                            thank you for reading! enjoy :P

 I think it is scientifically confirmed that the justin shiterlake song sexyback starts playing in H's head every time he sees me, and that Oscar is now a whiny little femboy who is acting like a tsundere to me thinking i'm going to fall for him that way. holy shit, some female author needs to write a handbook on how to get a female partne- wait. im an author, and a graphic novelist why am I being lazy. actually, nvm fellow authors, we shouldn't write it. besides, do YOU want to be the reason for male manipulators spawning everywhere just because of your book? yeah, that's what thought. I think I'll stay on the safe side, and let all the chopped men suffer.  

update on Oscar, his monthly 3 month crush on me is GONE!!!!! so far. it will come back. we all know it will. its already starting to fade back into the fabric. Allah, save me, he's not in my league at all! sigh... all because I prayed that I would be in the front of the math class, and got seated next to him. this boy need to learn that changing for me wont make me like him, and that denial is a river in Egypt.

my issues with Oscar are only fading more and more, but my H situation is only getting worse. why are all the guys in my school chopped? this is why i'm married to Qiu Lin from olnf. 

I have some uncomfortable things that have been happening to me though that i'd like to address. like... 2025 October fall festival, and literally every class in my timetable since H's in ALL OF THEM 💔

I made an update to the now... school love web btw! take a loooook!

yes, I left blank space, because I know DAMN well that this thing will go from a web to pasta, and then tangled wires in a few months. and I thought a love square was bad.

I normally use postimages, but this image was made using immgbb, so if you tap on it, you'll be sent to a viewing equivalent of the image. try it and please tell me if it works!

so, you may be wondering why H's status towards me has gone from "crush" to "OBSESSED" in a few months. well I fear, I am being very realistic in this case.

H stares at me in EVERY. SINGLE.CLASS. he doesn't even flirt or hit on me anymore, which thankfully is giving me a piece of mind, because boy, would any alt girl date a guy who wears sweatpants and a neon orange football jersey to a halloween party, when said alt girl (me) went in a huge disco ball paper mashe costume, while wearing ryosangata and calico cat nekonomini gear? yeah. that's what I thought. if H was in my place he'd be running for the WOODS, like the pathetic woman-seeking coward he is. he has the body build and face shape of a sweaty gooner incel, but mixed with a African Arab popular boy. 

I heard from his ex, AL that's been obsessing over him since middle school (whom he asked for money... and then dumped five minutes into the relationship... shortest relationship EVER), that he acts like he thinks he looks good, but is actually really insecure. Makes sense. if I looked like him, I would cry every day. no man with a high ego is ever chopped, those dont mix, since teenage boys are sadly under the influence of things like testosterone and looksmaxxing. disgusting really. 

so, last month, during October, I was chilling, doing school stuff, when I saw a poster for fall festival. think of it like a halloween festival except they name it fall so they can squeeze money out of non halloween celebrators.

I didn't really check the date tho.... so when I saw a girl carrying a shopping bag with costumes inside, I realized that the celebration was THAT DAY and I called my mom.

thing is,  I had PE last period, so I took a shower and then put on my costume and went to the fest. I was quite late so there were like... 5 minutes left until the whole thing ended. 

I actually still had a lot of fun though, even though it didn't last that long. I hung out with Anya, my friend who's also on a school swim team, but in a different school, and her friends! idk what her name is, but Anya, tell ur friend who's name starts with the letter S and is Korean I said hi!! she's so sweet! say hi to your Arab friend too! it was so nice talking to someone that shared the same roots as me. anyway, when I met my friends from my school after walking out with S and Anya, a few of my friends at the school WARNED me that H had been going around, asking EVERYBODY if they had seen me. they even asked them! 

I was SUPER creeped out. can a girl just enjoy a party WITHOUT getting hunted down? idk about the rest of you, but I had a gut feeling, that if he talked to me that night, it would end really badly. I just slipped around with my friends the entire night. I did NOT leave their side. it was fun, but that little detail was genuinely terrifying. 

and guess what? HE STILL SPOTTED ME. 

FROM THE COURTYARD. 

aaaand the rest of the night was just him following me and my friends around and staring at me. even worse, when I went to meet my mom, she was GONE.

I know im a full grown teenager, but I really can't go to a SINGLE party without my mom if theres boys there. idk why. its not because i'm scared, but more because I really love my mama.

but, LUCKILY, our head of school was in the same area as me, and we even talked about bit! I told him abt my mom, and he said that he'd keep an eye out for her!

so, I waited at the school gates, with my big chunky disco ball thingy, my jirai kei, and my kemonomini gear. people really liked my clothes! they kept going like! "OMG!!!! A DICO BALL!!!!!!!! CAT DISCO BALL!!!!!!!!! AND YOU EVEN HAVE A TAIL!!!!!!! :3" too bad there's no costume contest. if there was, I would've won! 

luckily, I found my mom, and I asked her WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED....

so, basically, she went to the bathroom, and was about to head back, but then she got a call from her friend. she remembered how me and my friends were on a walk in the school alleyway, so she just SAT there in the cafeteria and WOULDNT STOP YAPPING

that's so momcore imao. imagine being more irresponsible than your daughter. she's just real like that ( ˙꒳ ˙ )

 wow, look! tamagotchi dividers! my childhood since I was three!!  my fav has always been lovlelychi! she's so cute!

Anyway, I literally am scarred from that experience. fall festival is meant to be FUN. it's November currently.  im stu(dying) for my Arabic finals, and my Social Studies and Science test. I just did my Math and English final. Im a solid A+ student with occasional B+'s, so I study really hard. I recently failed my math assessment last week, so I HAD to make up for it in my midterm final! I can't believe it! ive never failed a exam! streak over I guess... okay fine it was because I stayed up watching chiikawa. fuck ass u u wa wa uwa. but still, Ive been studying so hard since that im not eating or taking care of myself as much. I only get 6 hours of sleep on school days. its really taking a toll on my mental health :(

still, I don't think i'm going to any after school party-like event after this. wanna know my next event?.... winter sweethearts dance. if the chances of me getting asked out by H and O are already THIS high, i'm not risking this. plus, i've been getting evil eye a LOT lately, from this popular girl who used to also be alt and my friend until she ditched me and Eva and everyone else she was close with to join the stinky popular girls. 

"used to be one of the rotten ones... and I liked you for that..

                               ♪ ♪ ♪

"now your all gone, got your makeup on, and your not coming back.. 

can't you come back???...♪"

just kidding, I don't care about her at all anymore (unlike the girls from my old trio, who are STILL trying to win me back, after I left after snapping out of it and realizing how awful they were... fuck you E and E.). Iris only talked to me now because i'm pretty, and don't hang with E and E anymore. she gave me evil eye once, after she dug the information that im friends with girls from the UAE alt community irl, after lying about it herself. one "oh, me too I!" was al it took.

last year, I overheard her defending me after E and E backstabbed me, and this year, she's giving me evil eye. Ironic.

i've never been to a dance since I used to be REALLY chopped. but now?...after wanting to go to a dance so badly every single year?... I dont really see a point.

"wow! a cruddy half hour dance in the gym with fatty foods, suck-ass music, crumpled cocktail napkins, and a potential chance of being molested! so fun! yayyy!!!"

that's how people who talk about the dance sound like to me right now.

I hear it's fun. well, it IS fun if you don't have some guy stalking your every move and thinks about you 24/8. i'm really not risking it. I mean, my mom says I can, go, but she warns make they are really boring. my dad would FREAK. my dad is really protective of me. not only am I female, but i'm also their only child. on the outside, when he tells me something is revealing, it might seem like hes just a bitch, but in reality? my dad is a great man. I look up to him. he's a male. he knows how boys and men think. in reality, he just wants to protect me. I appreciate it dad. but sometimes you're  a bit inaccurate... men always think that when a girl dresses fancy, she's trying to impress someone. 

L REALLY wants to go to the dance, but her parents are REALY STRICT. she can't even get a phone until she goes to college. I disagree. it's always great when I get to call my family or friends through my phone! I wont tell her mom that tho... her mom really likes me. she's the sweetest! especially L's younger siblings! I love her kindergarten aged brother. i've been taking care of him likes he's my little brother as well even after her baby sister, Sabine was born! hes adorable. I dont really think Sabine likes me, but I mainly babysit toddlers. in fact, i'm the reason a certain now in second grade year old girl, eats all the food in her lunchbox, gets less screen time, and knows how to wash her hands! toddlers love me a LOT. I can easily make them happy just by being myself and joking with them! 

L's mom says that they can have their own party at home! she can invite all her friends, and they can even eat popcorn (L's mom's  popcorn is SPECTACULAR, almost as good as mine), and they can hang out and have a movie night. Im one of L's closest friends to her, so she told me im on the top of the guest list. i'm honoured! it sounds much funner than some cruddy school dance.

okay... back to it. I did a presentation yesterday in ELA... guess what grade I got... 95 PERCENT!!!!!!

oh yeeeahh! who got a 95???????? this gal right here! ugh.. I can't believe I got graded down by one JUST because I mispronounced something ONCE. 

morale: dont eat carrots right before a school presentation.

wanna hear something AWFUL? Oscar and H were STARING at me the entire time! I actually want to punch them in the face. just let me present you twinks! fuck off! how dare you!

same boys who've insulted me and called me a bitch btw... and gooned over me... fuck you all. 

I HATEEE all of this. especially since were three months away from the dance (its currently November), EVERYONE is literally FULLY INVESTED with who's dating who, and who's having sex with who, and who's having a threesome with who... its been like this since seventh grade and it makes me want to rip my ears out. were basically KIDS. there's many of fish in the sea! pick an actual catch! but dont fish when you haven't even gotten your fishing licence yet! that's just gross!

        anywho, you have scrolled all the way down! thnx for reading my rant ml ♡♡♡ 

here's a little souvenir from this blog! a low quality, google drive pirated ver of the Miku Movie from earlier this year !!:

                https://drive.google.com/file/d/1GGdr7ycSIFJpG7h-LOWiJuZTvjPo7aUT/view

                bye peeps !♡♡♡ take care of urselves and remember you are loved !! (っ˘ω˘ς )

                                                             -  ♡ 𝓍𝑜𝓍𝑜♡ -

                                                  --𝓁𝒾𝓁𝓅𝒾𝓃𝓀𝓅𝑒𝓅𝓅𝑒𝓇𝓂𝒾𝓃𝓉𝒸𝒶𝓃𝒹𝒾𝑒𝓈 !!