theres like a fundamental isolation and thats the main emotion i feel around other people is isolation and loneliness and its super fucking discouraging when it comes to trying to connect with new people. because i want total emotional closeness and intimacy i get very uncomfortable and am very unsatisfied with superficial friendships but its a nightmare trying to open up to people and get them to... » Continue Reading
i guess im lonelier than i let on. im surrounded by people at school, at work, swarms of guests who enter and exit my house in droves while my mother laughs until her face is red and her voice is hoarse, a natural entertainer. i shouldn't be lonely-im encased on all sides with warm bodies. i watch their chests rise and fall around me, my head down, unable to look any of them in the eye. despite my... » Continue Reading